Sheridan with Prof. Rosato and Coach McGraw.
One of the most exciting things about being in college is the abundance of covertly interesting people floating around campus. Honestly though—when I recognize accomplished, genuine faculty, staff, or students walking on the quad, I would be lying if I said my eyes didn’t slightly blur over in admiration. And when a chance arises to listen to them speak about their views on feminism, I am so there.
This past Friday, Notre Dame’s Toqueville Program for Inquiry into Religious and Public Life hosted a panel of three exquisite women at South Dining Hall Oak Room entitled, “Can Notre Dame Women Have It All?”
The discussion centered on the tension between devoting quality time to both career and a family, and the tough decisions that arise when at times, women may need to choose one over the other. Of course, these questions may offer little relevance to us undergrads right now, but it’s likely they will in the future. The conversation also fits into a larger discussion about women, work, and stereotypes in the national arena (see here, here, and here. I would be remiss if I didn’t also mention the lovely ND grad I sat next to at the lunch and her insights here). Below are responses from women in the ND community on what “having it all” really means, and more importantly, how they have found their paths to achievement and balance.
Education is a gift. Mary O’Callaghan, mother of five, ND alum, and a PhD in developmental psychology, stressed that how we view our education now affects how we’ll view it in the future. If women worry that higher education will be a waste of effort, time, and money should they decide to stay home with their children at some point, they are misunderstanding the more holistic purpose of education. “Education is not a glorified vocational school,” she noted in reference to this phenomenon. If we see our time at Notre Dame as one for the education of our whole selves, we are set to excel in any life-path we find most compelling.
Make each decision based on what feels right to you. Susan Rosato, mother of two and professor of political science at ND, argued the title of the day’s event is asking the wrong question. The better question, she claimed, is, “can women find balance?” To Professor Rosato, the answer is yes—but only if women believe in themselves. “Every choice is an opportunity,” she emphasized, “so don’t feel guilty about the decisions you make.” What we want may change, and not everyone wants the same things. And, Professor Rosato added enthusiastically, “You can always change your mind!”
Exude confidence and help each other. Muffet McGraw, Notre Dame’s very own women’s basketball coach, concluded the panel with a challenge to traditional gender stereotypes. “Men help each other, and women compete with each other,” Ms. McGraw commented, illuminating women’s tendency to judge each other. “If we help each other, that would be a good start,” she said, adding that confidence better equips us to seek the careers we dream of and build each other up along the way.
Many of us will pursue full-fledged careers, many of us will stay home with our children, and many of us will want to do both. What’s more, many of us will have no interest in family or children, a life-path of equal merit. As far off in the future as much of this may seem, Professor Rosato’s advice certainly applies to us Notre Dame women at this very moment: “Travel now!” Wherever we end up, traveling will be harder as we age. So, ladies, get out there. Work hard. Listen to your hearts. Listen to each other. And go see that world.
Photo provided by author.