Sometimes it’s okay to be alone. As weird as it sounds, I prefer it. There’s nobody to talk to, nobody to entertain or make small talk with, nobody to share that last piece of chocolate with. You just enjoy the silence. Sometimes I entertain the possibility of being a lonely cat lady just because then I would never actually have to interact with people. Is that weird?
People are afraid of being alone. I think a lot of it has to do a fear of being left alone with your own thoughts. That’s the beauty of it though: when you do stuff alone, you have time to contemplate your thoughts and to think of important things, like what you’re going to have for dinner on Friday. Or you know, the meaning of life. I believe the fear of doing things alone roots in an individual’s inability to be independent and a constant desire to have somebody around to reaffirm life choices, even simple tasks like what kind of coffee to buy or if a top looks cute or not.
Say you really want to go to a cool art show at the Snite but have nobody to go with because all of your friends are preoccupied with their own lives—okay, this literally happened to me last week. Don’t just decide not to go on your own because you would feel weird and self-conscious. Go anyways and enjoy the heck out of that show! I enjoyed it because there was nobody to ask me annoying questions every two minutes and I didn’t have to worry about whether or not my friends were having a good time. If you’re lucky like I was, you might meet somebody who also went alone and end up bonding over the fact that you were by yourself.
In addition to situations like going to talks and presentations by cool professors and artists visiting campus, it’s also 100% acceptable to do a lot of other things alone. My favorite is going to the gym or the mall by myself. On occasion I’ll just take off and not tell anybody, because then I don’t have to apologize later for leaving somebody out (and nobody will feel like poor Kendall Jenner on Keeping Up with the Kardashians when everybody rode ATVs without her in Greece).
From personal experience, I always feel pressured to rush through my workout routine or refrain from taking 40 tops into the fitting room at Forever 21 when my friends are with me. On the other hand, sometimes it is really fun when you can workout next to your bestie and gossip on the elliptical, or ask her for some fashion advice in the fitting room.
I’ll admit, while doing things alone is very liberating and makes you feel really independent and grown up, it is always nice to have a few friends to hang out with, so don’t do too many things all alone! Just be careful when studying with friends because we all know that quickly leads to procrastination sessions of questioning what the fox says.
(Side note: South Bend TRANSPO offers 100% FREE transportation all around South Bend! I rely on Route 7 to UP Mall all the time, so trust me when I say it’s honestly a lot easier and less scary than you may think. It is much more convenient and reliable most of the time than having to wait on friends with cars. Just make sure to check the schedule here or use this really cool iPhone/Android app that tells you exactly where your bus is!)