We all know that Notre Dame athletes are the perfect individuals: obviously athletic, intelligent and capable of holding a decent conversation without getting confused by big words. But girls, it’s time to reevaluate our priorities. In a time when eye candy like Cam McDaniels, Malik Zaire, and Troy Niklas are constantly available (or sadly unavailable) the seriousness of the jersey thirst has hit its peak. However, there are alternatives to the Notre Dame jersey chasing endemic that was washed over our campus.
To quote the wise words of the enthusiastic freshmen girls of my floor, whom of which I surveyed in compiling this article, “the odds are good but the goods are odd.” In case you missed it, there are literally hundreds of alternatives to jersey chasing, and I’ve even highlighted a few options below.
Disclaimer: I would not describe this article as being advice for pursuing an MRS Degree, but if you would like to interpret it as so, then go right ahead!
1. Engineers
Wow! These boys are not only geniuses in their own respect, but from the ones I have met, also extremely polite and respectful. I’d hate to make generalizations, but if you are interested in quiet, shy boys, engineers should be your number one pick! You could probably talk for hours and they would listen to everything you have to say. But, don’t be sad if you aren’t their number one priority considering the amount of work they have all the time! No matter if they are chemical, civil, or electrical, they’re all guaranteed to be amazing people!
2. Business Majors
If you like to have fun, these Sperry wearing, Chubbie shorts and blazer sporting professionals are the way to go! Business majors know how to party and have a great time, so you would never have a dull moment with one of them. Many business majors were probably varsity athletes in high school, so if you’re still interested in chasing a jersey or two, there’s always a few retired jerseys somewhere. Mendoza boys also have a lot of time on their hands when they are not working on dreaded excel sheets, so unlike excessively busy engineers, they’ll probably have a lot of time to commit to you.
[pagebreak]
3. Imagineers
Girl, get at those Art and Letters majors! I’m not going to talk about the typical Political Science, Pre-Law boy, because we all know what gems some of those excessively confident boys are. Nope, it’s all about the Studio Art and English boys! These sensitive men will listen to you cry about your problems and maybe even cry with you if you get really lucky!
a. Studio Art: You know I’m hanging around the woodshop to find my future Noah from The Notebook! These boys could probably build you a house with a matching tree house for your future children. Not to mention, who doesn’t look adorable in those protective eye goggles and flannel shirts.
b. English: Well-written love letters under your door all the time? I would die from the cuteness. English majors love to argue and analyze everything they do, so conversation would never be dull! He would probably know why you’re grumpy or upset before you even do. Just don’t insult his favorite book and you should be fine.
These boys are anything but lazy and unmotivated “Arts and Crafts” majors. If anything they are the most confident because of their loyalty to their passion in the arts. They also probably have really good taste in music and will make you cute mix tapes and take you to see hip musicians at Legends! I’m completely biased as an English/Studio Art major though, so take this all with a grain of salt!
With all this being said, the few jerseys that give the rest a bad name should not be applied to all athletes. Most of them are literally the biggest sweethearts in the world and many of them are students in each of these subjects as well. But, if you’re heart is set on pursuing a jersey, use his major to determine what kind of individual he really is (Not really, that’s a little shallow. Okay, but really).