Some of my most meaningful life lessons have come from my friendships with women. Through the women I know and love, I have learned what it means to be supportive, loyal, confident, and unashamedly myself.
Some of my longest relationships are with the girls I befriended back in sixth grade — when all you had to do to make friends was sit next to someone at lunch. Things may have been simple then, but those friendships that started out of seemingly nothing have grown into so much more.
I have been best friends with the same three girls since middle school. Back then, all we had in common was our hometown and the fact that we needed someone to talk to. Soon, though, we did everything together. They were my partners for class projects, my bandmates in talent shows, and my track teammates (they hated running, but they joined for me).
I have vivid memories of holding my friends when they cried, yelling at the boys who hurt them, and jumping up and down over their successes. When I opened my acceptance letter to Northwestern, they were right by my side, screaming with excitement for me.
Sometimes I think my friends know me better than I know myself. And despite all my flaws, they continue to love me unconditionally. That’s the thing about female friendships — when you find the right ones, they’re loyal to the end.
There’s a common stereotype that female friendships don’t last because girls are “catty” or “too much drama.” The fear is that a girl will be nice to your face and then turn around and talk behind your back. I have found the opposite to be true.
When you find a real friend, she will celebrate your wins, defend you when people talk badly about you, and keep your darkest secrets. Even from 1,000 miles away, my friends check up on me often and show me how much they care.
There’s a certain permanence to female friendships that seems to weather all storms. For all of us, boys have come and gone, but we’ve always been there for each other, offering a listening ear for the good, the bad, and the ugly of our relationships.
Now that I’m older, I find myself using the lessons I learned from my friends all the time. They taught me that people are always going through more than what meets the eye, and everyone deserves a little grace. They taught me that fights are not the end of the world, and that sometimes, friendship runs thicker than even blood.
No matter what happens to me in life, I am grateful that I have found girls who will protect me with their lives and make me laugh harder than I ever have. My friends are my chosen family.