Types of People at Coffee Shops

The Phone Talker

You know the type: no respect for the bustling quiet coffee atmosphere, screaming into their phone about an absurd and unnecessary topic. They don’t notice the glares from around the coffee shop in their general direction, or the headphones being plugged in by everyone in their immediate vicinity.

The Awkward First Date

You can hear the lapses in their conversation. There’s a lot of, “Wow, thats cool.” One of them is trying to impress the other. They’re trying not to act bored. Is this a Tinder date, or had they really known each other before just now? One has downed their entire coffee, perhaps for an excuse to leave and go to the bathroom, or maybe simply because they can’t get a word in edgewise. The other hasn’t touched theirs.

The Instagram Girl

She came there for that beautiful latte with the heart made of steamed milk. Bonus points if her friends are there with an expensive camera to take photos of each other sipping their coffee dramatically, clad in beautiful outfits from Forever 21 or Urban Outfitters and the like.

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The Coffee Spiller

They’ve stolen all the napkins in the napkin dispenser to try and clean up the entire cup of coffee they’ve spilled on the floor. Mildly irritated employees are slow to bring out an actual mop or rags, a yellow wet floor sign, while this person sheepishly stands watching. The rest of the shop glances over to watch for a moment.

The Studier

This person is truly admirable. They’ve probably already been at the coffee shop for several hours, and will be there for several more. The contents of their backpack are spread out across their table, and their laptop is plugged in. If you could guess what's playing in their headphones, it's probably a classical music playlist, or possibly Hans Zimmer. They are there to grind.

The Oblivious Book Worm 

This person has been nose-deep in a book for as long as you’ve been there, occasionally sipping a coffee. They don’t even notice the annoying phone talker, or the commotion of the coffee spiller. Whatever book they are reading must be good, but nobody dares interrupt to ask them the title.

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