So, we’re onto week 5 of the 6 week plan. V-day is pretty soon. Or, Singles Awareness Day. Basically, at this point, it’s just A. knocking over a string of dominoes or B. firing shots at random.
1. Take the impending ‘snowpocalypse’ to figure out your final steps to seal the deal in two weeks. You probably want the deal sealed before that, so you can make plans. Or maybe you’d rather have some weird limbo planned spontaneity for the Big Day. If you have succeeded in setting up an elaborate scheme to get the Valentine of your dreams (or at least, the Valentine that’s most reasonable), then you just need the final kicker. Will it be a string quarter playing for them in their dorm room? You showing up in a birthday suit? Scheduling an obviously not for studying study date? Lunch in Norris? Some of these are more reasonable than others. You decide. This is your game now.
2. If you’re like me and you got distracted from the plan, or you’re still holding out for Jake Gyllenhaal or your unrealistic prince charming of choice, then you may want to fire shots at random, as previously mentioned. Be mindful and wary of this being taken as desperation. It’s not. There is nothing wrong with celebrating Singles’ Awareness with me and my residents in the MidQuads watching a romantic comedy and eating yummy single people food (chocolateeeee).
3. There was no C. This is for the ‘it’s complicated’ people. So, you’ll just go with the flow. Clearly, if you haven’t made up your mind one way or another at this point and the situation really is just on the fence, at least choose to be happy with it, whether V-day is something you celebrate together or apart. Your future remains as mysterious as whether or not the spinning top falls at the end of Inception. Just be strong and independent and blissfully indulgent of chocolate whether you’re single or not, when the day comes.
So, whether you’re in category A or B or C (do you like this choose your own adventure style? I do.), I do sincerely hope you’ll appreciate the following list.
Ways super-cold-freezing-your-tush-off winter is in fact, really hot (even during Snowmageddon 2011)
1. You need to stay warm. And, I know that sex-like activities can certainly provide warmth. There’s nothing cold about the human touch (or rub. Or more. Etc. etc. etc.)
2. Hot Chocolate in bed after getting really warm. Ideally, you make the hot chocolate, then get super cozy. Then forget you were making hot chocolate, lost in wreckless abandon. Then you drink the now warm and won’t burn your tongue hot chocolate in bed. With your ‘friend.’
3. Rosy red cheeks look cute on boys and girls alike. Chapped lips, however, don’t. Tip: Invest in several chapsticks in several flavors. And then offer someone a taste? Yum.
4. More people will be hanging around the dorm, for your underclassmen still living on campus. Hello, dormcest season. Sure, this fad dies down around October when you feel like you know everyone too well. But, now is the perfect time to reconnect.Have a laundry room party… Just because your clothes are getting clean doesn’t mean you can’t fulfill your uncreative and totally cliché laundry room doing-it fantasy on top of a really toasty dryer. Triple hot (you and your chosen buddy, the dryer, and the devilish endeavor).
5. This music video. It came out this winter, so it counts as ‘hot-winter-things.’ It’s hilariously distasteful. Please do not have sex while wearing a chain and a turtleneck. Do not let someone else have sex with you who sings this after. I guess you can’t know until it happens though? Well, if you think that you are about to have sex with someone who might sing this song after, you may want to reconsider. Unless you’re into that.
I can’t follow up the deliciousness of Andy Samberg even in that absurd music video (okay, I’ll admit Jessica Alba looks great too…). So, I’ll just end here. Happy 2 week stretch. Keep pursuing happiness a la Cudi. And, get warm for the Snowgasm 2011!