When I was old enough that my mother knew I’d start dating whether she liked it or not, she would tell me, “Make sure you pick a guy that treats his mother well, because that means he’ll treat you well too.” At first I thought, “She just wants to make sure her son-in-law treats her well.” But ignoring the assumption that every guy wants to date his mother and brushing the uncomfortable juxtaposed image of me and my boyfriend’s mother aside, I can’t help but think perhaps there’s some truth in my mother’s wise teaching.
How a guy treats his mother may not be a direct reflection of how he treats you, but his relationship with his mother could be telling of the person he is, which would inevitably dictate many of his actions.
We’ve all seen the distant one who has his mother come and get his laundry every weekend. These boys tend to take people in their lives for granted, and have an inflated ego. Do not expect him to pay for you when you have a date at Flattop or serenade you in front of Bobb. These guys tend to perform at the bare minimum, because to him, up-keeping a relationship is like maintaining a job.
Then we have the soft-spoken one who talks to his mother on the phone every day. Let’s call him the skirt-clinger, the boy who clings to his mother’s skirts. These boys tend to lack their own opinion because they’re used to having their mothers tell them what to do, and can’t seem to form an opinion without first running it by her. Though choosing between Allison and Willard for dinner isn’t the most complex decision, this guy will most likely say, “I don’t know” to most choices you lay in front of him. So while these guys can come across as chill, they may not be one for advice and lengthy conversations.
And finally, we have the ones that insult their moms in front of their friends, and speak down to her on the phone. They’re probably the ones climbing to the top of Garret, or having sex in Tech. Such guys lack respect for authority and tend to display themselves as machos who don’t need anyone. While they can be spontaneous and attractive because every girl wants to be the one to hold their attention, I would be wary of expecting commitment and compassion from him. Because if a guy can’t respect the first woman in his life, he most likely won’t respect you either.
Of course, most guys don’t fall neatly into one category. Some might have reasons for being estranged from their mothers, and others simply just don’t get along. Plus, if you ask any guy, he’ll most probably deny any claims that you are anything like his mother. And this is because it’s true. Ultimately, he has chosen you for who you are and you should focus on how to make your relationship with him blossom regardless of his with his mother. But a guy who loves and respects his mother can’t possibly be a bad sign. I remember a guy who remembers his mother’s shoe size and favorite soap. Ladies, if you are in search of a boyfriend that comes with a period tracker, he’s the one for you. So watch out for guys who are getting their moms a Mother’s Day gift because maybe it’s a sign that he’s a keeper.