Dear Forward Girls
I remember sitting in a gender studies class on feminism my freshman year, and nodding off to the professor’s rhetorical questions when I saw a parody of Snow White being flashed on the projector. The princess was deathly pale and limpid with a terrifying prince lifting her like a twig. “Fairytales like Snow White are heavily imbued with the idea that women are weak and need saving from our lonesome, independent selves by a man,” said the professor. A feminist might say that giving into “the chase” would mean fueling a man’s ego and sacrificing a woman’s right to be assertive.
But the issue at stake here may not be the chase itself but the people involved. Not all guys prefer to be the pursuers and in fact, some might find forward, more brazen girls extremely attractive. There might be strings attached to guys who demonstrate the need for the chase. For example, they might be prone to taking on traditional guy roles of being the romantic, protective figure and like to feel needed. On the down side, they might also be prone to jealousy, and expect you to take on the traditional girly role of catering to him.
Guys who do not need the chase might be less domineering in conversation and take your opinions seriously. They would probably be less overprotective as well. But these guys tend to be shy or less confident so you may not always be able to count on them to speak up for you.
So girls, you need to figure out where you fit in this equation: what kind of guy do you prefer and how would your forwardness or passiveness affect the impression you give? If you’re a brave young lady at heart, you shouldn’t have to swallow your confession to attract a guy that prefers the chase. Because if you end up dating, your assertiveness may come out in other ways that he didn’t expect, and he may not turn out to be the kind of guy you like after all. On the other hand, being forward may get you your perfect guy. Bottom line, be your wonderful self!