My relationship with music has always been a little bit tumultuous. Growing up in a musically-inclined household, I was left disappointed when I learned I was not musically gifted in any way. Numerous failed attempts at playing instruments, including piano, ukulele, and even bass guitar at one point, solidified in my mind that maybe playing music was just not right for me. Regardless, I listened to music as an escape and it became an integral part of my identity. After the pandemic began, I leaned more towards music as I struggled to adjust to constantly changing circumstances and struggles with mental health. These past two years, I really expanded and refined my taste, somewhat losing the nostalgic connections to my favorite artists from my childhood along the way. Recently, I considered collecting records, wanting something more permanent to represent such an integral part of my life. I never really thought that there would be any serious difference between the everyday listening I do on my phone to listening to a record. However, after a couple of months of pondering, I finally gave in, buying some of my familiar favorites.
First in my collection, I purchased “Fine Young Cannibals: The Raw and The Uncooked” (kind of odd I know), my mom’s favorite album from way back when she and my father first met. My father particularly resented her obsession with FYC, claiming they were “too mainstream” for his taste. Regardless, my mom played the album constantly, lasting well into my childhood and adolescence. I first heard FYC on a scratched-up CD in my mom’s car, so hearing the album again on a vinyl record was a bit odd. The sound was a lot warmer and crisper than I remembered. Regardless, listening to songs of my childhood reignited my somewhat flickering love for music.
Since purchasing my first record, I have slowly expanded my collection, adding old favorites and new artists on occasion. I sort of reframed my approach to listening, focusing on the song playing, rather than letting it melt into the background. I still play music occasionally and though I will never be all that great, I’ve really leaned into appreciating the experience of music, not just the result.