Welcome to the Bro Blog!!!
We have 3 of our Bro Bloggers helping us navigate through the complicated concept of dating timelines!!! Check them all out and enjoy:)
Looking for a specific blogger? Click on their names to navigate to their post!
J.P. Bowgen
Mike Mallazzo
Ben Shartar
Northwestern Guy
[pagebreak]
It’s simple—if you’re a guy asking a girl on a date as more than a friend, you’re looking for something. It doesn’t matter if it’s physical or emotional.
Guys shouldn’t expect too much on the first date. My advice: be a gentleman. If things work out in your favor after a first date, it’s good for you. But make a good impression, because if you’re looking for anything more than just a night out, manners will take you a long way.
It’s an exception when a girl decides to “give it up” on the first date, not a rule. After a first date, don’t expect anything more than a goodnight kiss. Walk the girl home and make sure she gets back safely. Then feel it out. It’s not a sin to man up for a kiss, and if you get turned down, who cares? Rejection on such a small scale adds character. But you may not get turned away, so give it a shot and respect the girl’s decision to accept or decline.
Should you get rejected, laugh it off. Play it up like a joke to lighten the mood and ease the tension. Too often does poorly handled rejection result in irreversible damage.
The few hours after the first date are most often tense. Some guys send a follow up text. It can’t do any harm to thank a girl for spending some time with you. You never know, you may get a second date out of a simple text.
The second date isn’t as stressful. By that point, guys have an idea that there is some mutual interest. Get a little bolder if you’d like. Make the date more intimate than just lunch or coffee. But don’t forget to be courteous. It’s more likely that something will come out of the second date and respective dates.
Even guys have heard of the “three date rule.” After the third successful date, things get more serious. Again, it’s not the rule. Some girls will abide by it, and others won’t. Date three will certainly heat things up if they haven’t already.
But if the dates keep piling up, expect the standard “what are we” conversation to come up. Girls expect something more at a certain point, even if it’s just clarification. That’s when guys should really step it up. Be open to suggestions and communicate openly and efficiently. The stereotypical guy isn’t one to talk things out. But trust me, conversations make or break a “relationship.”
There is no standard timeline for a couple. Ultimately, it’s on both parties’ shoulders to determine their dating chronology.
Guys: be courteous and don’t expect too much from the get go. Good things happen when you respect some boundaries and be a gentleman. Girls never want to feel threatened into doing something too quickly. If there is a timeline, use the girl’s.
It’s not bad to ask a question, but don’t get defensive when you don’t get the answer you want. But if you like the girl, stick with her. Things will happen sooner or later.
Keep reading for Mike’s bro blog!
[pagebreak]
Happy Snowy Friday Ladies,
On this winter’s day, the bro blog is once again here to give you that warm fuzzy feeling by giving you insight into the mysterious dating timeline. In this 1968 hit, Elvis Presley famously declared that he wanted, “a little less conversation, a little more action please” and thereby set the philosophy that most males have been following ever since. Yet the lovely ladies of Northwestern should be adamant about demanding a little more conversation before the action starts to keep their guys in a state of constant suspense. If it’s a relationship or more long-term affair you’re after, it’s all about peaking the guy’s curiosity and not giving away too much, too soon. If it’s just a casual hook-up that you’re after, I don’t think you really need my advice on that one.
Imagine if we found out that Bruce Willis was dead at the beginning of The Sixth Sense. The movie would have lost its luster by cutting out all of the suspense that kept us on the edge of our seats and thiswould not have happened to anyone. This is essentially what happens if you give a guy too much, too soon. The key is keeping a guy that you want to form a more meaningful relationship with curious, almost even to the point of frustration. Not only will this serve as a test of character and fortitude for you to judge the guy from but your conservative mannerisms will make you seem even hotter. Something about hot conservative women like cute librarians is just oddly fascinating. In addition guys get excited by the prospect of scoring with girls that are hard to get so it is nearly guaranteed that he will not lose interest. So be conservative, wait a while, and enjoy the benefits later.
I still think Sarah Palin is kinda hot,
Mike
Read what Ben has to say about dating timelines on page 4!
[pagebreak]
Dating timelines are stupid. I would say that any absolute rule when it comes to dating and romance is pretty useless and misplaced. I say this because every situation is different, just as every girl out there is different (twins excluded). While a “timeline” can be acceptable as a general recommendation for the speed of thing, please don’t let it dictate your actions. I know it is cliche to say “Listen to your heart,” but the true indicator of when it is the right time for something is actually how you feel. If you feel it is right (and hopefully so do they) go for it and hope for the best. I have tried timelines before, and now I say don’t use them.
The amount of dates you go on does not matter as much as how you feel about him/her. There is NO golden rule for timelines other than dipping your toe in the water and seeing what the temperature is. Some relationships you can jump straight into and some you go step by step as you get used to it. And I speak from experience. I have made out with a girl before I started to take her on dates (RIP TKOE), I have waited 3 dates for the first kiss, and I think in 6th grade the farthest I got with my girlfriend was holding hands and a kiss on the cheek. While the speed of intimacy is not the most important thing, I will recommend getting to know your crush/partner before going too far too fast. If you see a future with the person, it is always nice to leave things for later.
For me, if I am hanging out with a girl, that means I view her in a pretty fantastic light, because I try not to surround myself with people I don’t like. For me, how fast we move is not as important as how balanced the relationship is. The physical interactions have to move at an equal pace with the emotional ones. Remember, guys have feelings too, some of us are just better at ignoring them. Girls, remember, this is a guy who chose to spend his time with you, at some level he likes you no matter how fast or slow you have gone so don’t worry too much about it.
If you chose not to read anything of what I just wrote, screw timelines and do what feels right. Each girl is different, so treat her that way and just enjoy yourself. Oh, and smile more, it is pretty difficult to have a bad time when you smile and in my mind, nothing is prettier than a girl who looks like she is enjoying herself.
Check out Northwestern guys’ take!
[pagebreak]
Topic for the week: The Dating Sexual Timeline. It’s not so much what I want for the timeline, it’s about what I expect. My expectations going into the first date: nothing. The first date is like the first meeting in a negotiation, it’s just the beginning. I’m negotiating for her, and she’s determining whether or not I’m deemed worthy. Plus, if I don’t get overly aggressive with her on the first date, I’ll be scoring points because I’ll be building my gentleman image. But during the course of the first date my expectations might change; I’ll just be looking for signals. For example, the hair toss or when a girl swoops her hair behind her ear are obvious signs that she wants me to make a move. And if shit starts to go down, I’m not going to stop it, and I don’t think girls need to be so uptight about holding back. It’s college, it goes by fast, time is of the essence.
After the first date, it becomes a free for all. I don’t really have any expectations. Our second time out together could be at a bar after pregaming separately for a couple hours. In that case, we could potentially be circling the bases. But to stay along with the topic, on a real second date, there needs to be some making out at the least. She invites me in I know it’ll be going a little further, but probably nothing to brag about. Third date roles around, I’m going to expect a little below the belt action. Then by the fourth or fifth date sex is a very realistic possibility.
Now that’s a very conservative, “we barely knew each other before the first date” scenario. There are two reasons it would take 4-5 dates and arguably 4 weeks before the bases are rounded. 1) The whole, “omg like I don’t want him to think I’m a slut” thing and 2) She’s not comfortable around some guy she just met. At the end of the day, the sexual timeline is going to be condensed if she feels comfortable. I remember being forced to watch some chick flick and this girl slept with the guy on the first date because, “it just felt so right” or something vague and illogical like that. She did it because she really liked the guy and felt comfortable with him.
This is what I learned from my dating experiences. Some girls are more reserved, or want to, “take it slow,” than others. And to me, it’s not going to change my opinion of you if you want to take it further in a shorter amount of time. This is college; the time to kind of slut it out and get the fun out of the system. I have a couple years left before I have to become a real, mature person who pays bills and has a full-time (hopefully 6-figure) job. For now, it’s all about having fun.
-NGB-