February. Valentine’s Day— the one day a year carved out for you to officially celebrate your lover. This holiday serves as a chance for you to show your partner, friends, or family members how much you love and appreciate them. Luckily, there are a whole variety of ways to do that!
According to the book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, each of us has a specific love language that we communicate with and like to receive. Chapman defines these five languages as Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. All of these love languages are special in their own ways, and someone may even have multiple love languages that they prefer.
To see what love languages you and your partner are, check out this website! https://www.5lovelanguages.com
It is important to note that we all do not all have the same love language. For example, let’s say you did really poorly on a test and need to be comforted by your partner. While you might enjoy being comforted with a hug, if your partner was in a similar position, they might not want to be touched. Instead, they might prefer words of affirmation such as, “I know how capable you are, and you’re going to do better next time.” Or, they may prefer receiving an act of service, and it would be better to offer to help with the next test by making flashcards or studying together. If you discover what love languages you and your partner are, it may help both of you understand how to better support each other in your relationship.
For the month of February, here are some ideas to communicate love in the language your partner most values. For the partner who prefers…
- Words of Affirmation
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For words of affirmation, it is important to tell your partner how much they are appreciated. You can do this by vocalizing your thoughts, letting them know how proud you are of their accomplishments or how much you value the effort they put into your relationship. To communicate this, you could write a letter telling them how much you appreciate all that they do for you. Or, consider writing little papers with all of the characteristics that you love so much about them. You can put all of them in a jar so they can have it forever.
Overall, Words of Affirmation consists of paying attention to your partner and vocalizing the things you may never have thought to say aloud.
- Acts of Service
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If your partner’s love language is Acts of Service, consider doing something that makes life easier for them this month. Offer to do the dishes, help them study for an exam, or make dinner for a night. Acts of service will let your partner know that you are taking time out of your day to make their life better. It shows that you are there for each other as two people who love and care about one another.
- Quality Time
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For those whose love language is Quality Time, they are likely to want to spend alone time with their loved ones. It is important to realize that quality time does not mean doing homework together or talking while both of you are watching TV; quality time means that you are giving your partner your undivided attention. Examples include getting coffee, going for a walk outside, or playing a game together. “Quality” emphasises doing something that invites open dialogue and face-to-face interaction.
- Receiving Gifts
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If your partner’s love language is receiving gifts, it means that they want you to be thinking of them while you’re not with them. In order to get a gift for your partner, it does not mean it has to be expensive or flashy. Rather, it means that your partner is looking for something that shows that you were on their mind. Maybe it means knitting them gloves because their hands are always cold, cooking them their favorite meal after a bad day, or lending them a book that you think they would love.
- Physical Touch
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For those who value physical touch, it’s important to let your partner know that they can be vulnerable with you and have a safe environment to be held. Physicality comes in many forms, and it’s up to you and your partner to decide what that means. However, both of you should respect each other’s space and preferences, while still making sure to be attentive to your partner’s needs or wants. Physical touch, like any other love language, means making sure that your partner feels supported and close to you.
In the end, the above examples are just a few ways to show your partner that you care about them, But if you make efforts to learn your partner’s love language, the two of you are likely to be more empathetic, secure, and optimistic about your future together.
While Valentine’s Day is a fun day to celebrate you and your partner, it’s important to remember the kind of love you want to give and also the kind of love you want to receive in your relationship.