Walking into college, I had this notion that I would make friends instantly, that everything would fall into place and I would have a picturesque experience. This fantasy had a shelf life of a gnat and died the second I realized how superficial everyone is during the first few weeks of school. Not only that, but being at a school in the city made it very real that I was on my own, and the sensation was extremely daunting.
My biggest struggle was finding friends. Thankfully, my roommate and I clicked almost instantly despite going random; we became close quickly. All the other friends I made were spread out through different classes or activities I participated in. There was never a friend group though, which is what I was used to. I felt lost and thought that maybe joining a sorority would help me feel like I belonged somewhere.
It took me less than four days to realize I had lost it. All it took was for me to be in a chapter meeting before reality slapped me in the face. The girls I met in the sorority were great, and I still talk with a few of them. The issue wasn’t the sorority though. Rather, it was that I knew being in a sorority was not for me, yet I still let this idea of what my college experience should be pressure me into joining one.
So, I took some time for myself. I got close with the people I had met and learned to be ok with not having a “core” group of friends. I quickly realized that being at college meant that I had to do things alone. I started off small by finding a few things I could treat myself to, such as coffee or ice cream, and as I became more comfortable with doing things by myself, I started going on bigger adventures like exploring the city. Taking these baby steps instead of hitting the ground running made me feel more comfortable with the new environment I was in, and at some point, I started to look forward to the days I could go out and do something on my own.
Eventually, the friend group that I yearned for at the start of the year just formed by itself after introducing my individual friends to each other. While I wish that it had happened sooner, I’m glad that it didn’t. I think it took me being alone for a while and trying different things to figure out who I was at college and who I wanted to be. I don’t have everything figured out at this point, and I doubt I ever will. But, I’m at the point where I’m comfortable with myself, and there’s no place I’d rather be.