I remember February like it was last Friday. I remember every aspect of my life being illuminated with excitement and spontaneity…and then it all came to a screeching halt a few weeks later, into the beginning of March.
It’s easy to say “I’m fine” even when you’re not. I’ve certainly done this. A lot of people have just been skating through these past few months, hoping restrictions will melt away and the world will suddenly become normal again.
Yet, even the word normal leaves an odd aftertaste.
The reality is, things won’t “go back to normal,” and we can’t keep waiting for them to. Evolution is natural, so it’s time we learn to adapt. It will be a slow transition, one small change at a time, until things gradually improve to an approachable extent of normalcy again. So, in the meantime, how do we cope? How do we trick ourselves into feeling motivated and optimistic when we don’t even know what tomorrow will bring? Uncertainty has been the word of the year, but it doesn’t have to be interpreted with the negative connotation we’ve learned to instantly apply to it.
Uncertainty should be used to your advantage to “shoot your shot” in every aspect of your life — whether academically, romantically, or financially.
Consider applying to any and all internships within your range of interests, even if you feel you aren’t as qualified as others for the job. Ask that special someone that you were just starting to get to know prior to COVID (but never fully did) to go grab food sometime. Continue to pursue your hobbies and maintain a balance of self-care in your daily routine.
The way I interpret uncertainty is like this: I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, and I definitely can’t predict who or what will enter into my life in the coming months, but I do have certainty over how I act and present myself. I can work on myself in the meantime and continue to push myself to be my best version. I can and will use this vast amount of uncertainty as an upper hand to do everything I was too shy to do before the pandemic.
I’ll admit, I’ve waited for things to merely just happen, but now I find I’m doing the complete opposite. I refuse to sit and wait for things to suddenly become more “certain” for me to resume my life and passions again.
For instance, in the midst of summer, I anxiously waited for my school’s decision on what their plans were for the fall semester. I texted everyone I knew, asking if they were going back to campus and what their plans were. Everyone had a different response, and I found myself consumed with their opinions instead of finding my own. Then I realized, right now I have to focus on myself. We all do.
After staying at home for almost five and a half months, I was uneasy at the thought of going back to Massachusetts. I had become comfortable in my little nest, not having to worry as much. But I knew that being so comfortable meant exactly that, and I needed change. I needed to see people, talk to my friends in person, live in a different location, go on new excursions during the beautiful fall season. I figure, if the worst-case scenario arises and going back to school is awful, I can always come home again.
Thankfully going back to Boston was the best decision I could have made. I’ve found myself to be more productive in this bustling city than in my suburban hometown because I’m surrounded by young, inspired, students my age. I’ve pushed myself academically and have successfully found myself an editor for my book, which I’m hoping to be published before the new year. I continued my membership through several clubs and have made time to catch up with close friends over dinner in hotspots across Cambridge. With my weekends full of hikes, foodie trips, spooky season festivities, and walks around the city, I am so incredibly glad to be back.
To anyone reading this, regardless of what your school’s plans are, put yourself first, but more importantly – try to live in the moment.
P.S. I know right now is a rough time, but if you need someone to chat with, reach out to me on Instagram: @Laurenbarbulescu