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7 People You’ll Read About in the Northeastern Crime Log

It’s everybody’s guilty pleasure. Every Thursday when the new Huntington News comes out, we all flip to the crime log and read shamelessly about the stupidity and debauchery that took place over the past week on our campus. While the occasional entries about passerbys getting hit with pudding thrown from an apartment on Hemenway, or students found passed out naked in Stetson West’s lobby grace the pages of our newspaper, Northeastern readers can always seem to find these seven offenses in the weekly crime log.

1. The “I–only–left–my–laptop–there–for–five–minutes–and–it’s–gone” entry.

Tuesday, Sept. 20, 3:15 p.m.
A student in the Curry Student Center food court left her laptop with a stranger who was sitting near her, presuming he would watch it for her.  When she got back, her laptop was gone as was the stranger.”
While Northeastern was ranked the second–safest college campus in the country by Reader’s Digest, there seems to be a reccurring theme of students’ valuables going missing in Snell and Curry. Are we all getting pick–pocketed on our way to the quick-print? No, but every week we read about at least one of our classmates who left their MacBook Pro on a table for half an hour, came back, and––surprise, surprise––it was gone. Snell has laptop lock rentals for students, but apparently these people just never got that memo.

2) The “it’s–my–first–year–of–college–and–I–haven’t–figured–out–how–to–hold–my–
liquor–yet” entry.

Monday, Oct. 31, 9:30 p.m.

An RA in Stetson East reported two 18-year-old students vomiting on the first floor. They had been drinking vodka at a bar. They were evaluated by EMTs and allowed to remain in the dorm. Both were reported to OSCCR.”

We all see it on our walk home on Friday nights and subsequently read about it in the crime log every week: underclassmen vomiting in or outside freshman dorms. Something about finally being in college seems to make these students feel as though they’ve been blessed with invincible livers. But as we’ve read time and time again, the night never seems to end according to plan. Instead, it concludes with a messy floor and a letter reporting said student to OSCCR.

3) The “WTF–I–put–four–locks–on–this–thing” entry.

“Wednesday, Oct. 12, 9 p.m.
A student reported he locked his bike outside West Village G at 9 a.m. When he returned at 9 p.m., both the bike and his cable lock were gone.”

The Northeastern campus is full of bike racks, outside the library, dorms and classrooms for students on wheels to lock up their rides before leaving them unattended. Despite most students having the sense to lock up their bicycles before heading to class, it would seem that there are criminals with bolt cutters roaming our campus, waiting to snatch up secured bikes from unsuspecting students. How and why this keeps happening is a mystery, which is perhaps why the theft of locked bikes always seems to make a cameo in our crime log.

4) The “I–moved–off–campus–to–get–away–from–RAs–but–now–have–to–deal–with–the–
cops” entry.

“Friday, Oct. 14, 2:45 a.m.
BPD called for assistance at ### Westland Ave., where neighbors reported a large party. The hosts were students, ages 19 and 20. They were serving alcoholic beverages to their guests. BPD is investigating and the hosts were reported to OSCCR.”

When the previously reckless freshmen (as mentioned in entry type #2) become upperclassmen, many make the decision to move off campus to the nearby Symphony, Fenway or Mission Hill neighborhoods. Some like the independence, some want to save money, and some want to have parties without the worry of an RA knocking on their door and getting reported to OSSCR for drinking some beers and playing water-pong in Dav A (yes, it’s against the rules because it promotes drinking). However, with this new found freedom of living in your own apartment also comes the nuisance of landlords’ private security and non–student neighbors who may not want to hear your dubstep blasting at 3a.m. Most weekend crime log entries (when not involving a drunk freshman passed out in their dorm) tend to always sing the same old song: off–campus party, noise complaint, broken up by the cops, students reported to OSCCR.

5) The “I–stuffed–a–towel–under–the–door–and–covered–the–smoke–detector –but–it–didn’t–help” entry.
“Tuesday, Oct. 25, 2 p.m.
An NUPD officer in Speare Hall, investigating a previous incident, smelled the odor of marijuana coming from a dorm on the second floor. The officer confiscated a significant amount of paraphernalia and a small amount of marijuana from the room, which had two student occupants. There was a fan in the window and the students admitted to smoking. They were reported to OSCCR.”
When living in the close quarters of a residence hall, RAs have the ability to see, hear and yes, even smell, everything that happens on their floor. This includes, as many students have obviously yet to discover, the smell of marijuana emanating from a dorm room. While every crime log entry is a little bit different in how creatively the student tried to cover their tracks, the same problems seem to ring too true for the (usually underclassmen) smokers on campus. As we’ve all read about in the many crime log entries involving this kind of offence, students have tried turning on fans, opening windows, putting towels under the doors and covering the smoke detectors, but it somehow never seems to be enough, usually resulting in a police investigation and a visit to OSCCR.

6) The “I–bought–my–little–brother–booze–and–tried–to–hide–it–in–his–backpack–
but–still–got–caught” entry.

“Thursday, Oct. 6, 6:45 p.m.
An NUPD officer reported he saw a 19-year-old student on Columbus Avenue carrying two cases of beer. The beer was confiscated and the student was reported to the Office of Student Conduct and Conflict Resolution.”

The average student population on a college campus is divided into two sectors, those who are over 21 and those who are under 21. At a five–year school like Northeastern, we have an even larger population of students who are of legal drinking age, making the underage students’ options for obtaining alcohol even more numerous. However, with the underage drinking sting put into action this year by NUPD and BPD, more students than ever are being caught buying alcohol for their younger friends and family members. Whether students are trying to make the switch outside of Huntington Wine and Spirits or hosting a party with underage guests, nine times out of 10 we’ll be reading about it the next Thursday morning.

7) The “I–really–wanted–a–Gatorade–but–couldn’t–pay–the–two–dollars” entry.
“Monday, Oct. 24, 11:15 a.m.
A manager of Wollaston’s in the Marino Center caught a student shoplifting eye drops, even though he paid for other items. The student was banned from both Wollaston’s locations on campus and was reported to OSCCR.”

Blame it on being poor college students or Wollaston’s jacked up prices, but for whatever reason, Wolly’s seems to have a serious shoplifting problem, and I’m not talking about students stealing hundreds of dollars worth of groceries. It seems as though the most common products stolen from our campus grocer are trivial items like hand soap, sports drinks and chapstick. Why students and members of the Boston community are taking these items without paying for them is beyond me, but we continue to read about it in the crime log weekly along with the drunken sickness, noise complaints and bike thefts that continue to plague our campus.

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