Two years ago I had a rough summer. I passed up an amazing internship out of state for an internship in my hometown. I did this because, on top of doing the internship, I was also going to start a job I had been working toward for two years.
Then I was blindsided and lost both the in-town internship and the job I had wanted with all my heart. I was devastated.
Those first few weeks after I received the news were a complete disaster. I dealt with sadness, anger, severe boredom (I’m the type of person who always has to be doing something) and many other emotions. But no matter what I felt, I got up everyday and put on my makeup.
Sometimes the only thing I did that day was go swimming or go to lunch with friends. But there was always makeup on my face. I never wore that much makeup, but nobody would ever see me without foundation, and many days I would throw on mascara or blush and bronzer as well.
Then one night I was washing it all off (something I absolutely despise because it’s so time consuming and it makes a mess) and I realized I wore makeup that day and the only thing I did was sit on my couch and read a book. It didn’t make sense to me.
So I just, stopped.
It was weird at first. My skin was (and still is) far from perfect, so I was worried people were judging me. I also went through a phase where I knew I wasn’t as pretty without makeup and I didn’t know if I was ok with that.
But as time passed, I got used to my natural face. And I learned a lot about myself in the process.
First, and most surface level, makeup is freaking expensive. I save tons of money now that I don’t wear makeup. And the way I see it, that is money I can use on something I really love, like traveling.
Second, I save a ridiculous amount of time. I can get ready much quicker in the mornings, and I don’t spend those 15 dreaded minutes each night washing it all off.
But more than that, my self-confidence actually skyrocketed. I realized that if somebody doesn’t like me because I don’t have a perfect face, then that isn’t someone I want in my life anyway. It has become a “what you see is what you get” mentality. What I show to people is the exact person I am, no gimmicks, and if they don’t like that—fine by me. It’s an empowering thing once you truly realize this and stop caring about what people think.
At this point, my lack of makeup use has gone a little to the extreme. I’m hesitant to put makeup on for anything, even a celebration or going dancing at a club. My friends are always begging me to put something on, and sometimes I oblige, but I’m perfectly happy with who I am.
Sure, there are still some days where I look in the mirror and I know I look like a hot mess. But those are the days I love the most. Because on those days, the blemishes on my skin from stress mean that I’ve been working my butt off at work and accomplishing some really cool stuff. And the dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep means I’ve been champing it out on homework and solidifying a great future for myself.
My natural skin is a compilation of everything I’ve experienced in life, but I worked hard for all of that so I will wear it proudly.