On My Way To Confidence

I won't lie to you, I tend to care what people think of my appearance, maybe a little more than I should. Especially in this era flooded with opinions. I have often tried to please people, by wearing my hair a certain way or dressing a certain way. However, pleasing people has turned me into a completely different person making it difficult to find my authentic self.

Once I entered University I decided to break that cycle, I wanted to wear what I wanted to wear and look how I wanted to look. But let's be honest, the anxiety was killing me and swallowing me whole. People still had opinions and I still cared enough to listen. But, one day I thought to myself, maybe that cringe worthy phrase that everyone used to say in circa 2010 isn't that wrong after all, YOLO, it means you only live once. It is true! Life is short and we only get one chance to live it. Therefore I vowed to be happy by looking and feeling the way that feels right for me, and not worrying about what people think, in other words living my life with…

The first thing I decided to do was to get a  tattoo. Now I know to most people, getting a tattoo is not a big deal or uncommon, especially in a world full of tattoo shops.

However, my parents are very traditional and a tattoo in their time was the worst thing imaginable.  I have always wanted a tattoo but my parents and friends were always against the idea. Unfortunately, I always let others opinions steer my own decisions.  But Spring Break 2018 marked the beginning of my journey, and I choose to get my tattoo, this was definitely the most permanent change. But, it was something that I was comfortable with and I was happy. However, in the moment when I got it, I was afraid of what people would think of it or me. I've always been placed in a category of the quiet and clean-cut kid, and having a tattoo might chatter that. However, like i've mentioned before I was happy and I remain to be satisfied with my tattoo because it means so much to me as it is honoring my dad. Don't get me wrong tough, telling my parents was terrifying. One morning we were sitting in a restaurant, I decided to do it in public, that way they would yell at me too much. I began my speech by saying that it was my body and I was happy with the outcome, immediately my mom looked at me with angry eyes saying “No,no,no” and my dad looking at me with eyes of disappointment saying”its a tattoo isn't it”, I looked at them with a smile and said “yup”. I explained its significance and immediately my dad smiled knowing that the tattoo was for him. It was difficult  because they are still not completely accepting. But it feels great to do something that makes me happy without being influence by others. Now I can't help but want to show it off , and oddly enough it gave me a sense of confidence.

    My point is, do the things that make you the most happy regardless of what people may think. Don't let other people's opinions drive you to make decisions that don't align with yours, especially those involving your appearance. Because only you know what you like and what looks good on you and when you feel good you look good! I am proud to say that i'm beginning to feel more like myself, not only because of a tattoo but because I’m finally doing things that make me happy,straying away from peoples opinions, and I’m slowly  but surely on my to confidence.