Our breakup was sudden, tragic and completely unexpected. “It’s for the best” he swore as tears rolled down my cheeks. But why? I thought WE were the best. I know we had our fights as every couple does but I didn’t ever see the day we would say ‘goodbye’. Arguments going back and forth before I knew it one thing led to another and we decided to go our separate ways. In a way I guess that is like most breakups, but to me it was so much more than that. To me it was the biggest change of my life.
At first you’ll think ‘oh he’ll be back’ just to come to realize that he isn’t. Then you’re left with no other choice but to move on. But how?! How can you stop loving someone you have loved for 11 plus months from one day to the next? The answer is simple. You can’t. Breakups are so extremely complex and they take some time to get over. Sure, at first you will feel a sense of freedom and liberation but trust me it will all start to pile up slowly. It’s the getting used to not texting that person all the time or getting all those phone calls asking how your day was and hearing “I love you baby girl” every night before bed. It’s the having to delete all the posts from social media and all their texts and pictures from all of your photo libraries. It’s the silent tears running down your face every night because you’re missing that one person. It’s the wishing you could turn back time and fix whatever it was that got between the love you once shared. It’s the reluctance to even drive past places you used to go to together because the memories seem unbearable. Weeks will go by and you will feel as though the world is crashing down on you. You will give into that urge to text them and then feel dumb for doing so the moment you send it. You’ll wish that you could just hate that person because hating them seems much easier, but you just can’t hate the person whom you shared so many memories with and it eats you alive from the inside out. Pretty soon you’ll have to see them happy with someone else and see that their relationship status changed from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’ even though he swore you were his “forever and always”. Yet at the same time, one day, you too will find that inner peace. You’ll start to feel like yourself again. You’ll go shopping for a whole new wardrobe and you’ll cut your hair and you will make changes in your life because change is good, right? You too will find that someone worth trying again with. You will find that maybe this breakup was indeed for the better. You’ll realize that you haven’t cried in a week, that week will turn into a month and before you know it a year will go by and you will feel a lot better about the whole situation. You’ll realize that you have found yourself again and you will love and value yourself more than you ever have before. You will reach goals and achieve dreams. You will realize that you didn’t need him, you never did. You will be the person you want to be and you will do whatever you want without having to worry about what ‘he’ thinks. You will be happy again, trust me. You will learn to live without him but more importantly you will realize that breaking up with him was definitely, undoubtably and undeniably… for YOUR best.