It is near midnight and I’m finally sinking my heavy bones into my bed, allowing the soft cushion to ease my muscles, aching with the stress of a 12 hour shift. I work as a shift manager at Starbucks, and despite how quaint that may seem… It is the complete opposite. The work environment is quite rigorous with hours and hours of rushes, dealing with nasty customers, managing my coworkers, and having to make time to clean the store and do an inventory count. The main highlight of the environment I am in are the friends I have made working here, and the biweekly paychecks.
Being a college student, struggling to pay my tuition, I often find myself working the longest hours that I can get and working as many days as I am able to, on top of juggling school and an internship along with it. Because of how much work I juggle, I constantly feel drained out of my energy, yet I can’t seem to get enough. I continue to pile my plate high with work, activities, and academics, hoping that I can manage. But one thing that can never seem to be understood is why I crave the adrenaline rush I get out of working so much? Why do I find it so comforting to feel so burnt out?
Is it the friends I have made? Is it the money? Is it the social life that I have been lacking due to how much I work? Is it the distraction form real life?
Is it a symptom of capitalism? Rooted in a paycheck-to-paycheck upbringing? Is it genuine pleasure? I can never seem to pinpoint whether my ecstasy of exhaustion is a form of self destruction or a symptom of societal conditioning. It could be all of the above or it could simply be an addiction.
Understanding the difficulties of our behavior and its roots is a challenge in itself, especially when the outlet is such a complex issue as overworking. College students around the country are struggling with the same issues of overextending and over exhausting themselves as a way to cope with financial situations that come with the price tag of college, and that burnout turning into a sense of solace.