Even though that rosy time of year has passed (pun intended), there’s still enough bears and chocolate boxes on the shelfs of CVS to remind us, oh wow, I’m still single. Valentine’s Day or Lonely Hearts Day, along with cuffing season always set this standard that we need to with someone in order to feel complete. As a person who has been colossally single for most of my life, I get wanting to feel loved during this time of the year. Who doesn’t want a giant bear, with roses to fill a room, or just plain dinner with the one you love? All that sounds great, but I have a problem with the cultural idea that you have to be with someone during this time of year or that we need to constantly search for a partner. If this time of year is supposedly all about love, why don’t we ever hear anything about self-love?
Valentine’s Day always leaves everyone focusing on romantic love, but there are so many types of love in the world besides this. Self love is one type of love that often gets overlooked. Why do you have to be in love, to feel love? What’s the true harm in being alone? There really isn’t any, but television and media have convinced us to accept unrealistic standards of love, and that you have to be with someone to enjoy this time of year. Why isn’t self love encouraged as part of that spectrum?
Self love is the most powerful love you could ever get and give. What’s wrong with taking this season about love, and treating myself? Taking time to appreciate that I am part of this crazy, beautiful world and simply happy to exist? Why do I have to expect chocolates and roses from some mystical partner who doesn’t exist, when I could get them for myself? All of this might sound like a sad excuse to avoid feeling lonely, but truly there is nothing wrong in enjoying your own company, on Valentine’s Day and cuffing season, or any other day for that matter. Valentine’s Day may be a tacky hallmark holiday that markets horrible candy, but sometimes we need a pause to remind ourselves that we are loved, and we have ones to love.
Perhaps instead of wallowing in self- pity again this year I urge anyone who’s single, love yourself and treat yourself! Eat too many chocolates that aren’t filled with fruit. Do a face mask and freak out your household because you look like a ghost and feel damn good about it. Watch a rom com, curl up with some wine and a box of tissues and realize that you can have your John Cusack holding a boombox moment, someday if not tomorrow! It’s okay to be single, and it’s ok to just spend some time for yourself. It’s also ok to realize that we all deserve love in all forms, and are capable of giving love.