With a bland title that reeks of desperation, comes a Valentine’s Day trap brave enough to ask the question: what if J.Lo was a pop star who settled for some guy? Ring any bells? Marry Me is the latest synthetic Netflix-type musical rom-com whose unconvincing premise and below average performances are its biggest downfalls.
Lopez plays Kat Valdez, a mega-famous singer/songwriter in preparation to marry her fellow superstar boyfriend, Bastian (played by Maluma), on stage as a promotional tool for their latest single. Seconds before going into the livestreamed wedding, footage of Bastian cheating gets leaked. In a mix of anguish and recklessness, Kat marries single dad-math teacher Charlie (Owen Wilson), a complete stranger who she plucked from the audience.
The Notting Hill-esque plot stubbornly says the show must go on, and Kat forces Charlie to play along with the sham marriage for her appearance’s sake. They, of course, keep the act going long enough for them to harbor actual feelings for each other. Meanwhile, Parker (Sarah Silverman), Charlie’s work/lesbian best friend, does all the heavy lifting in pushing Charlie (therefore the storyline) and gets none of the credit.
Lopez, who also served as a producer for the film, faintly uses Kat as a mouthpiece. Having talents and achievements overlooked because of her dating history? Check. The public scrutiny of having been married multiple times? Check. A subtle jab at the Academy for snubbing her role as Ramona in Hustlers? Check.
Marry Me is based on the graphic novel of the same name by Bobby Crosby. The protagonist and toxic love interest’s ethnicities were changed from the source material to cast Lopez and Maluma, which is a nice change of pace considering mainstream representation for Latinos is almost always tokenized.
The visually generic film was a missed opportunity to tell a second-chance love story between two people in their 50s. It’s decorated with mediocre pop melodies and uses a wide angle lens that prompts a headache. Wilson does the bare minimum and blends into the background even when the camera is completely on him. Maluma’s limited acting abilities makes everyone else shine and proves he’s better in minor voice roles (like Mariano from Encanto).
It’s not the greatest of romcoms, but I don’t think it’s trying to be. While being distracted by the constant use of Universal Studios’s corporate sister’s properties like The Tonight Show and Today, Lopez and Wilson’s chemistry managed to slip through the shallow screenplay and radiate a semblance of the warmth we know from the romcoms we love.
Marry Me is in theaters and streaming on Peacock.