Every time the new semester starts students are forced to take part in the dreaded ice breakers; it’s just a quick little tid-bit about yourself that you find interesting which shouldn’t be that bad, but it completely freaks me out. You only have a small amount of time to tell this class, full of people you just met, a cool fact about your life, where you’re from, and why you’re here. Most of the time (actually all of the time) my mind runs blank as I try to think of something cool I’ve done or a weird moment from my life and it usually ends with me saying, “I’m just not that interesting of a person.” It’s met with a few sad laughs and my face turning red as we move onto the next person who says they once spent their summer with some foreign prince (probably not this extreme, but you know what I mean); this is met with various “wow’s” and “Oh, my God, that is absolutely insane.”
The word I use the most to describe myself is either “quiet” or “shy” (both interchanegable), from the time I was five years old to now not much has changed; the number one complaint I get the most from teachers or professors is: “Doing well, but needs to participate more.”
It still doesn’t make sense to me how someonce can be so charismatic and say whatever comes to mind without painstakingly thinking it through again, and again; I’ll forever be in awe of them and always feel the tiniest bit of jealousy, no matter how much I tell myself it’s okay to not be the loudest person in the room.
Though there is the idea that you can only be successful if you’re charismatic, there’s nothing wrong with being quiet or shy and keeping things to yourself. You can be just as successful as the person next to you who is reciting a full on monologue. I’m making pretty good strides in my life and I’m pretty positive/hopeful that I will continue down this path – I think it just comes down to hard work.
Especially, when it comes to living in New York City. It’s almost effortless to become drowned out when you’re in a sea of people each doing their own thing. It’s important to get yourself out there and not spend every weekend couped up in your dorm or apartment; a little “me time” is good once in a while, but please don’t make it an everyday occurrence – take it from me. You don’t even have to go out with anyone, spend the day in the library, a gallery/museum, park, or coffee shop. The possibilities are endless on what you can do here.
I don’t think I was ever meant to be an extremely talkative person. I think who I am fits me perfectly and I’m completely content with that; but, I still try to challenge myself in class to ignore my sweaty palms and sinking feeling in my stomach and instead, raise my hand or call out the answer. Who cares if I’m wrong? I do, but the teacher or your peers won’t. Regardless, it’s good to make challenges for yourself, it’s how we grow and learn more about ourselves; it also helps when participation counts for half of your grade.
The idea of being quiet is usually met with the person being mysterious or weird/boring, which are two completely different things, if you ask me. Personally, I don’t find this to be true; just because you don’t vocalize your thoughts 24/7 does not mean you’re holding in some deep, dark secret that will turn people away or that you never have anything interesting to say, it means you don’t feel the need to hear you voice constantly.
So, you don’t always have to be the loudest person in the room, but don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone because you might discover something knew and forge new friendships along the way. One last thing to remember (here comes a cliche quote), “the quietest people have the most creative minds.”