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4 Ways Your Phone is Harming Your Relationship

I recently watched a video about a cafe in London called The Tea Terrace. The cafe has created an option for you to have your phone locked in a safe, that’s designed like a dictionary, until you finish your meal.

The idea of taking part in a phone-detox had me thinking about the last time I went to a restaurant or bar with someone where both parties were sans phone. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I went out and simply spent time with someone, without a phone being involved.


It’s Inconsiderate

If you make plans to go out and spend time with your SO only to immediately pull out your phone and browse social media, how do you think the other person will feel? You came out to be with THEM, and by ignoring them and staring at your phone, it is likely that you’re anti-social behavior is pushing them away, ultimately leaving them feeling rejected, which can cause anxiety and resentment.

There’s No Connection 

When you use your phone to text with other people rather than talking with your SO (who is, might I add, right in front of you) you’re not connecting. When you do not interact with the person who wants to be spending time with you, it can make them feel neglected.

You’ll Miss The Important Things 

Imagine having a conversation with your SO and they begin to tell you something important, but come to realise you picked up your phone and got distracted, and you’ve been asking them to repeat everything they said. By not listening to your SO, and not giving them your full attention, you’re showing them that checking your phone is more important.

It Weakens Boundaries 

Using your phone when you’re out with your SO isn’t that big of a deal, but it lessens the boundaries of your relationship once it becomes a habit. By continuing to use your phone in this way (especially after you’ve been asked not to), shows that there are no clear boundaries between the two of you. Therefore pushing your SO to do whatever they feel like doing with no regard to your feelings as well.  

Bottom line: If you feel that your relationship is suffering because of this, have a conversation about how much your SO’s phone use affects you; make sure to let them know how you feel.  

[Feature Photo courtesy of Pexels]

Summer is a graduate student at The New School studying international affairs with a concentration in conflict and security. She loves writing, reading, scifi, and rock music. When she's not reading or studying, she enjoys learning how to code and spending time in nature. IG: @jedidaydreamer
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