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25 Signs You’re The Ultimate New Yorker

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at New School chapter.

According to episode 12 of “How I Met Your Mother,” you’re not a real New Yorker until you have seen Woody Allen, in person; stolen a cab from someone who needs it more than you; cried on the subway, without a care in the world about what anyone else thinks; killed a cockroach with your bare hand.

And, while that episode-long list of things does describe someone who is climbing the ladder to full-on New Yorker status, there’s still a few things missing.

  1. Jaywalking is a way of life, and it’s definitely not illegal – in your mind, that is.
  2. You have the ability to walk, talk on the phone (because you’re a New Yorker and talking on the phone is still a thing), and hail a cab in one swift, smooth movie-like move.
  3. Slow-walkers and tourist are your worst nightmare.
  4. Especially when it’s a family of four or five and they take up the ENTIRE sidewalk.
  5. While looking up at the sky, like they’ve never seen a building before.
  6. You’ve told at least three cab drivers your entire life story on the way home from a drunken adventure in midtown.
  7. Out-of-towners seem to pick you out of the crowd every single time they’re lost to ask for directions.
  8. And, of course you help them because you’re somewhat proud that they recognized your status as a true New Yorker.
  9. You cringe at the thought of getting on the 7 train to go anywhere because it is almost always down.
  10. “Planned work” is probably one of the most annoying things you’ve ever heard.
  11.  You avoid Times Square like the plague.
  12. You’ve moved at least three times in the past two months.
  13. You think it’s cute when the rodents play cat and mouse on the subway tracks.
  14. You’ve given more than one cabbie the bird for almost running you over.
  15. You can’t remember the last time you drove a car.
  16. And whenever you’re traveling, getting anywhere via car feels like it takes forever-and-a-day.
  17. You’re envious of your rural friend’s closets.
  18. Because what Carrie Bradshaw has is a complete LIE.
  19. Nothing is that spacious AND affordable.
  20. You’ve devoured an entire meal while riding the subway train.
  21. You’re accustomed to rushing everywhere, whether you have a reason to or not.
  22. You know where all of the best bars are, and you know to only go on weekdays – because on the weekends the bars are packed with out-of-towners and lost business men.
  23. You also know how to get into the after-hour bars.
  24. But that’s a special occasion kind-of-thing because you no longer feel the need to end your nights at 6 a.m.
  25. And even though New York has its flaws, you still think it is the greatest city in the world.

[Feature Image By Pexels]

Tabitha Britt

New School '18

Tabitha Britt (formerly Tabitha Shiflett) was the Editor-in-Chief and Co-Correspondent of Her Campus at The New School between August 2016 - January 2018. Tabitha graduated from The New School of Social Research on January 31, 2018. She's also a graduate of the Dub (The University of North Carolina Wilmington, UNCW) where she held the position of Managing Editor for the UNCW HC team. You can find her byline in a variety of publications including CBS Local, Taste of Home, Luna Luna, Thought Catalog, and Elite Daily. See more at www.tabithashiflett.com.