♈︎ – Aries
“The Goldfinch” by Donna Tartt
To my beautiful Ariens (people who are born under the sign of Aries), I recommend the absolute brick of a book that is “The Goldfinch” by Donna Tartt. Ambitious, bold, mysterious, opinionated, passionate. All words that describe both Arians and this novel. Theo Decker’s life is permanently altered after he survives a deadly bombing at age 13. Stolen art, messy rich families, an unhinged Russian bff (who is played by Finn Wolfhard in the movie adaptation, by the way), this story is 784 pages of complete chaos. There are MANY opinions to be had about this novel, perfect for you to fight about in Goodreads review sections. The biggest critique I’ve heard of this book is the length, but being the most ambitious of the zodiacs, an Aries should have no problem powering through. Ariens are known to be quite obsessive, and this is the perfect book to obsess over. Suffice to say Donna Tartt’s writing is up to par with Ariens’ high standards and quick wit. Plus, there is the aforementioned movie adaptation, which is terrible enough for a good hate-watch and follow-up rant.
♉︎ – Taurus
“Normal People” by Sally Rooney
If there are two things I know Taureans love, it’s some gut wrenching, sickening romance and a good argument. As a Taurus myself, I have mixed feelings on this recommendation. On the one hand, I’m sick and tired of hearing about “Normal People” like we get it, but on the other hand the book is just so amazingly good and so suited for my fellow Taureans. Follow Connell and Marianne’s multi-year situationship and indulge in a healthy amount of romantic toxicity. As the most emotionally constipated of the signs, you’ll find comfort in watching two equally emotionally clueless individuals try and navigate possibly the most complex relationship of all time. Reading “Normal People” is like taking a nice warm candle-lit bubble bath, while also experiencing inner turmoil like you’ve never felt before. The tv show adaptation is a piece of art like no other, and my personal favorite tv-adaptation of any book. Your loved ones will actually thank you after reading this because you’ll have channeled every ounce of that hot-headed stubbornness into these character’s problems instead of at your friends and family!
♊︎ – Gemini
“If We Were Villains” by M.L. Rio
Geminis get a bad wrap for being manipulative and calculating blah blah. What I’m here to say is that may be true but why does that have to be a bad thing? Embrace your conniving side and read, “If We Were Villains” by M.L. Rio. This book will take you on such an intense roller coaster that you will finish not knowing which way is up or down, what’s real and what’s fake, who you actually are and what was planted in your brain by M.L. Rio. The characters in this book are psychotic in the most entertaining way possible. The plot follows a group of students at an elite arts conservatory, all studying Shakespeare. Imagine Donna Tartt’s “The Secret History”, but the HBO-version “The Secret History” where the characters listen exclusively to Radiohead. Geminis are allegedly the social butterflies of the zodiac, which is perfect because 90% of this book is crazy parties that end in some jarringly unexpected plot development. Live vicariously through these deranged college students as they stir up as much controversy as possible.
♋︎ – Cancer
“Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow” by Gabrielle Zevin
Cancers… the crybabies. This book will really give you something to cry about. The plot follows two friends from childhood through college through later adult life as they work together creating video games. “Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow” contains one of the most world altering, heart shattering plot twists of all time and I’d thoroughly enjoy watching the most sensitive of the zodiac try and grapple with that. The end of this novel had me shamelessly crying in the BWI airport. I still think about it at least twice a day. Honestly I think the best way to read this is to go in mostly blind, it’s kind of an indescribable book and a summary just doesn’t do it justice. At the end of the day this is just a story about a few people and their relationships with one another. Cancers are equipped with the empathy and emotional intelligence needed to fully appreciate this book and these characters. Also, my mom is a cancer and she loved it, so what else do I really need to say?
P.S. Cancers don’t be mad at me for calling you cry babies I love you guys.
♌︎ – Leo
“The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo” by Taylor Jenkins Reid
I’ve found that the general consensus on Leos is just that they love drama and attention. “The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo” is basically just a fictional tabloid with a wild insider POV. What setting could possibly sustain more drama and gossip than 1950s Hollywood? This book is a Leo’s wildest dream, full of old Hollywood glamor and lavishness. Follow A-List actress Evelyn Hugo on her path to fame and everything she does to get there. Decades later, Evelyn is writing a tell-all novel to finally speak her truth to the public. There’s some pretty messy romance, the title speaks for itself. Leos are extremely determined and ambitious and will appreciate Evelyn’s conviction and grit. She’s fictional too so you don’t have to feel jealous of her success! Get it… because Leos are jealous…. lol.
♍︎ – Virgo
“A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder” by Holly Jackson
The best mystery novel of all time for the most detail-oriented sign. Virgos get no love because everyone just sees them as perfectionists who like to work and nothing else. I’ve heard them referred to as the most boring of the signs. But the Virgo slander ends here. Being able to notice the small details is a great skill to have, especially when reading a mystery. I’ve suffered through many mediocre endings, but “A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder” did not disappoint. The worst type of mystery is when the author brings in some new character in the last chapter and suddenly they’re the culprit! Or the cop-out everyone-did-it resolution. Eye roll. “A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder” plays no tricks, giving the reader all the information. This makes it a super fun read because you can really play along with the narrator, Pip, as she attempts to find the truth about an old closed case for a school project. This could be a great game for Virgos, the only sign with the hyper-awareness needed to truly keep up with this plot. De-stress by putting those problem-solving skills into this book instead of overthinking your real life.
♎︎ – Libra
“The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho
Libras are the most confusing of the signs. You’d think, oh they’re represented by the scales! They must be so wise, enlightened and relaxed! You would be wrong. Libras are just as lost, dazed, and disoriented as the rest of us, if not more. I prescribe them “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho just as a way to chill out for an afternoon. This book follows a young boy named Santiago as he searches for treasure and explores the meaning of life on his journey. I have never felt serenity like I did reading this book. Libras will give life advice to everyone and their mother before acknowledging the disaster they have going on inside. This short read will hopefully give you a moment of much needed clarity. Seriously everyone, go check on your Libra friend. Libras are unhinged. Everyone sees those scales and immediately assumes they’re chill. They are not chill, they just hate conflict. I recommend this book because I hope it’ll heal you guys. I’m joking but also not.
♏︎ – Scorpio
“The Final Girl Support Group” by Grady Hendrix
Scorpios are always 12 moves ahead. They know how to play the long game. Lynette Tarkington, the main character of this book, has been playing the long game since surviving the massacre in which her boyfriend and entire family were murdered. When I think Scorpios, I think horror. This novel tackles the “final girl” archetype, and explores the reality of these women in the aftermath of their tragedy. I’m just gonna come out and say that Scorpios are the most terrifying of the signs. I have never met a Scorpio that I wasn’t intensely intimidated by. You guys evoke the fear of god in me. With that being said, you’d absolutely love “The Final Girl Support Group”. I got whiplash reading this book. The moment you think you have it figured out, the plot just pivots in a completely new direction. Only a Scorpio could be as calculating as the people in this book. Grady Hendrix builds an amazing web of characters and unique motives to constantly keep you on your toes. This book takes the reader on a chase, challenging you to think 20 steps ahead. Basically a Scorpio’s day-to-day.
♐︎ – Sagittarius
“Circe” by Madeline Miller
This is an all-time favorite of mine and so are you Sagittarians, so here we are. This book follows Circe, a minor goddess, basically through her entire existence. Sagittarius is a sign embodied by change, exploration, and pursuit of knowledge. Circe’s life is such an interesting depiction of all these things. She does it all! Romance! Exile! Turning men into pigs! Birthing the minotaur! I really don’t have very many reasons for why Sagittarians would like this book besides just the fact that it’s a good book. You guys are just so cool and smart. I want you to read it so that we can have a little discussion. There’s a lot to be derived from this story and Madeline Miller is one of the best authors of our time. Plus if I know one thing about Sagittarians is that they appreciate some good mythology.
♑︎ – Capricorn
“Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe” by Benjamin Alire Sáenz
Capricorns are the workaholics of the zodiac, but I hope you guys can take some time out of your busy schedules for some reading. You might recognize this book as one you read during your “middle school nerd” era and haven’t thought about since. Or maybe that’s just me. Regardless, this book is actually so amazing. I recently re-read it just for funzies and oh my GOD, I was not expecting how good it was going to be. Capricorns are said to be very resilient and able to push through even the hardest times. You’re really going to need to employ those skills here because this plot is not for the faint of heart. Follow Ari and Dante as they navigate childhood and adolescence together. I feel like no one talks about how emotional capricorns are. They are still a water sign, they just mash all their emotion down inside. Let your feelings out of the cage and read this heart shattering book.
♒︎ – Aquarius
“Slaughterhouse-Five” by Kurt Vonnegut
“Slaughterhouse-Five” is a novel as strange and confusing as any Aquarian. Every Aquarian I’ve ever met is just a little odd, and I can never tell if they actually are weird or if they just want to be different. Either way, it’s like this book was written especially for them. This is a novel that I’d recommend going into blind, because if I explain it you’re not going to want to read it. When I first realized that this book was a late ’60s anti-war novel, I was filled with dread and regret for ever having picked it up. But I was actually really pleasantly surprised. What I expected to be some snooze fest akin to those forced upon me in high school actually turned out to be a very entertaining read. There’s also a pretty strange science fiction twist which is the coolest but most random thing ever. Aquarians will love trying to make sense of this novel.
♓︎ – Pisces
“My Year of Rest and Relaxation” by Ottessa Moshfegh
There is lots of stigma around being a Pisces which I don’t think is entirely deserved but also not completely unfounded. Pisceans just cause themselves a lot of mental distress for no reason and then make it everyone’s problem. And that brings us right to this book! “My Year of Rest and Relaxation” follows a young woman who attempts to sedate herself in a drug-induced coma for an entire year because she thinks it’ll fix all her problems. If that isn’t some Pisces behavior, I don’t know what is. Ottessa Moshfegh has mastered the art of creating such extremely unlikeable characters that you just can’t help but take interest. It’s like watching a car crash and being unable to look away. People hate this book just because they find the narrator that unbearably annoying, so clearly Miss Ottessa has done something right. Pisceans are kind of the manic pixie dream girl of the signs, so I think they’ll really enjoy this read. Just don’t get any ideas guys. Remember it’s more of a cautionary tale than a how-to.