A wise philosopher once said, “It’s supposed to be fun turning 21.”
That philosopher was Taylor Swift and that lyric is more influential than anything Socrates ever said.
Let me explain.
Growing up as a person, more specifically, a woman living in America, you are always taught that your 21 birthday is the second most important day to your wedding day. The celebration, the womanhood and the legality of it all is something that is exciting and also just really, really FUN.
You can finally legally drink, so on your 21, you’re allowed to party as hard as you want and everyone has to take care of you because it’s your big day! It’s supposed to be one of the best nights of your life that you’ll never forget (or in many cases, remember).
But when I turned 21, I cried before my party, I cried during my party and I cried after my party.
When it comes to birthdays, I always feel this overwhelming sense of sadness and that feeling was especially apparent on my 21.
I don’t really know why, I have so much to be grateful for and my party was an amazing event set up by my wonderful parents and sister. I felt terrible, and still do, for feeling so down but it was like I couldn’t help it.
This feeling seems to be pretty common, as I hear a lot of my friends and other people on social media voice their feelings about birthdays and how depressing they can be.
I think that the biggest problem with birthdays is the anticipation of them.
On your birthday, you can’t wait to have a day dedicated solely to you. And with that, you have all of these expectations that you hope and pray will come true but then they never really do. And the day that was supposed to be all about you becomes ruined by expectations that were never met.
Because 21 birthdays are so hyped up by American society, I was so excited for mine. I expected it to be the most amazing night of my life, where every single person would drop what they were doing to come and celebrate me, and people would walk away from my party thinking, “wow that was the best birthday I have ever been to.”
But obviously that didn’t happen. College kids have busy lives and can’t devote their whole day to you and birthday parties, no matter how fun you think they are, are just birthday parties.
Looking back now, since it’s been 4 months since my birthday, I can appreciate it even though a lot of my expectations weren’t met. I appreciate the friends that came and celebrated with me, my sister and my parents who decorated and in doing so showed me how much I am loved, and myself for getting through another year.
In the grand scheme of things, birthdays don’t really matter. But, in the moment, sad birthdays can feel like the end of the world.
For the 4 months I’ve been 21 though, life hasn’t really changed and my world definitely didn’t come to an end. It’s not like something magical happens when you turn 21. If anything, I still feel like I’m a teenager and navigating life as a newly 21 year old is just as confusing as it was when I was 16. But, everyone is struggling and life is hard, no matter what age you are.
So, Taylor was right when she said what she said. Turning 21 kind of sucks. But hey, maybe next year will be better! I know Taylor loves feeling 22.