In college, hearing someone say they’re a virgin is about as expected as seeing a three eyed elephant walking around campus. However, that doesn’t mean they don’t exist! There’s this unspoken truth that everyone thinks they know; “Woohoo! I’m so glad I’m in college so now I can just sex it on up!” …no. Unfortunately, it’s just kinda like a stigma that comes along with being in college, I guess.
If you just so happen to be one of the lasting virgins on a college campus, it’s okay. You’re normal. I’m normal. We’re normal.
Some are waiting for marriage, some are waiting for the right person, and some are simply waiting for the confidence to kick in. Either way, it’s all your choice and you shouldn’t feel like you’re less than a woman just because most of the people around you are more experienced sexually. Deciding to wait to do something is your decision, and your decision only, it is nothing to be ashamed of.
Now, be cause you’re in college, you’re bound to end up in awkward situations where sex and virginity is the topic of discussion. Being confident in your decision is one thing when you’re in your room talking to yourself, but it’s a whole other thing when you’re in a room full of people and sex is the topic. It can get uncomfortable really fast, you start to feel agitated and antsy, next thing you know you’re panicking. I know, I’ve been there, too. But there are ways to be confident in these conversations just as you are with the one sided ones you have with yourself.
In instances where the ice breaker for the evening is Never Have I Ever, we self proclaim ourselves as the winner by time the game ends. But, if you lighten the mood a little with something as simple as, “Never have I stolen before,” people will become more creative beyond the topic of sex and you can just avoid that debauchery.
This trick, however, may not be as easy as it is when literally everyone is telling sex stories and that’s just the type of party it is at the moment. So, this is when having a phone comes in handy. Text some pals, tweet a few song lyrics, or just look through your selfies…you get the point, right? Just remove yourself from the conversation or, if you do want to be more apart of the conversation, just listen actively and take notes for when it is your time in the bedroom. Either way, it’s maybe a 30 minute to 2 hour long conversation not even worth a sucky attitude. Actually, one of the times you can remove yourself from the conversation entirely is when people make snarky comments about your “list” in comparison to theirs. They’re just downright jerks. But ignore those nasty individuals and don’t let them make you feel not one ounce of shame.
A lot of people rush into sex not even knowing what exactly is going on with their bodies or ways to protect themselves, both physically and emotionally. People also make the assumption that all virgins are prudes who have 9pm curfews and has never held hands with a boy. That’s definitely not true.
When you start to feel the certain pressure to go ahead and become sexually active just make sure you’re actually ready. A lot of people may not think of being sexually active as a big deal but in reality, it kinda is. If you’re not careful, having sex with the wrong people can bring a lot of unnecessary drama and annoyances to your life. Also, if you have to consult with your parents before making decisions as far as contraceptives, but you’re not ready for that conversation…you might also not be ready for sex. So don’t sneak around and do it, your safety and protection is number one on the list. Either talk to them, or just wait until you’re able to go about getting contraceptives on your own.
Being a virgin in college is not the end of the world. If you want to do it, but your circumstances aren’t ideal, just be patient. Don’t rush into a situation to be with just anybody because not every guy or girl you come in contact with deserves to put their hand in your cookie jar. Just love yourself for being so courageous and powerful.