When it comes to relationships, every girl wants to make sure she is making the right decisions and isn’t just going towards heartbreak. There have always been a timeline and “rules” to dating and relationships that are sometimes helpful and sometimes useless. Starting from the first date continuing on into the relationship, every girl has hundreds of questions running through her mind ranging from “should we kiss on the first date?” to “when is he going to introduce me to his family?”, and everything else in between. So, to help your puzzled mind here are a few solutions to those age old questions.
Should we kiss on the first date?
We’ve all heard the phrase “you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your handsome prince” and most times it is fairly true. Whether or not you want to kiss on the first date is totally up to you. Some may find it weird or awkward to kiss someone they’re not with exclusively and others don’t mind it if the moment is right. Whichever you choose, keep in mind that it does not determine the fate of your budding relationship.
How long should we wait to be intimate?
While one of our favorite celeb couples, John Legend and his wife Chrissy Teigen, had sex the first day they met, PLEASE do not think sex early on in a relationship will always result in a long lasting, healthy relationship. There are always Different strokes for different folks. You should always think about what you want to happen after that moment. Some guys might stick around because they’re genuinely interested in you and some might not because they feel they’ve already conquered their main objective. Let’s face it, it’s some real dogs out there and if you don’t choose wisely you can get bitten. If you’re willing to take that risk, by all means go ahead; or if you want to tread lightly and wait for exclusivity, then that’s okay too. Just make sure you know what you want from the situation and you make wise decisions that are in your best interest.
When should we cut off our “extra friends”?
Nobody wants to feel like an option or just another name on a list. If you want to be the only girl/person your significant other is talking to, tell them that. If they can’t react accordingly to this, then maybe they aren’t the person you need to be with. When you and your partner are ready to honestly express to each other that you want to be more serious, that’s when you both should get rid of anyone else who is taking away from the integrity of your relationship. Nothing is more of a turn off than drama spouting from other people that are being entertained on the sidelines.
How long should we “talk” before making it official?
There’s not necessarily a set time frame of how long you should court someone before making your relationship exclusive. HOWEVER, you don’t really want to rush into it because both parties should be equally ready to be invested in the relationship. While it’s important to not rush into the relationship, you should also not wait too long. For example, you won’t meet someone and a week later be ready to subject yourself to them entirely because you don’t know them enough. But, you also don’t want to be in a situation where you’ve been talking for over a year and you still don’t have what you want. Ask yourself, “It’s been *however long* that we’ve been “talking”, where is this really going? Why can’t we just commit?” In this generation, it’s not uncommon for people to run from “titles”. But if you’re already doing everything that comes along with a relationship, why not just be in a relationship? Your relationship is only as simple or complex as you make it. “Titles” don’t ruin relationships, people do; and you shouldn’t shy away from claiming your situation if it’s genuine and you truly care for the person.
When should we introduce each other to our families?
It’s always a huge deal when you take someone home to meet your folks. Your family know you best and therefore they’re your biggest supporters and toughest critics. Your family also knows what potential lies within you so they know who will or will not help you grow. If you’re comfortable enough with your family and your relationship, why not blend the two? Just beware, too many relationships too soon might turn you into the family’s “serial dater”. This can be tricky because, 1- your family won’t take many of your future relationships seriously and 2- when your family actually does like someone, it’ll be a while before they stop bringing up their name after the breakup.
What about when we exchange gifts?
Gift giving in any relationship is subjective and is up to the individual. Some people are financially stable enough to spend hundreds of dollars on their new gf/bf and some aren’t. However, you shouldn’t relate the person’s feelings for you to an inanimate object. The thought that’s connected to the gift is what matters, not the price tag. Not only should you make sure that you and your partner are not trying to buy each other’s affection, but you should also make sure the gifts you’re receiving are coming from a genuine place and not with any preconceived notions of what you should “do” for your partner.
Should we move in together?
Whether you’re in college or in the real world moving in with your partner is pretty serious. A lot of people don’t believe in “shacking up” and others feel like it’s fairly sensible. A pro of moving in with someone before you get married or engaged is that once you get married you will already know that you can positively cohabitate with them. It also allows you to be comfortable with all that comes along with your special someone. Despite the pros, there are also a few flaws with moving in together. When you move in with someone whom you are not married to, you are taking on the duties of being their wife/husband without the actual commitment. You’re also opening the door for them to become too comfortable and “get the milk for free instead of buying the actual cow”. Moving in together before marriage also takes away from that special feeling of taking on your new role of husband/wife because you’ve basically already been doing it before the actual marriage.
As much as you may want all of the answers to relationships, unfortunately, there is no magical book that holds all of those major keys to success. There’s always going to be different strategies that work for each individual couple. You should just make sure you’re staying true to you and keeping in mind that the ONLY relationship that will last forever is the one between you and yourself.
So treat yourself kindly and remember,