A person never knows when enough is enough. We try to juggle so much, but we are never truly settled within ourselves. My grandpa once said to me “Do it, so the people who want to see you fail can’t tell you I told you so.” This was the overarching theme for me to take a step in bettering myself this past summer. I was not in a place of acceptance nor mentally and emotionally stable. I knew in order for me to have a successful senior year of college and continue on to pursue my dreams, I had to work from the roots. The roots being all the things that make me who I am that I did not accept. All the things that I would try to hide or make excuses for, my insecurities. I believe it is important during emerging adulthood to be set on your goals and in control or at peace with relationships. I did not have that control, how I could expect someone to love and accept me for who I am if I cannot accept my own flaws. The uncertainty of my moods or inability to sort out my thoughts drove me mad. I quickly discovered that a lot of my fears about the future stemmed from my lack of self-acceptance and from tearing myself down with negativity because I did not accept my insecurities.
So, I forced myself to face the music. I created the “Chuck It” List. A list strategically written including all of my insecurities. I allotted hours, days, and weeks to each point. I completed the list I read it thoroughly and forced myself to commit to check off everything on that list. I wrote down examples and talked myself through situations where I shut down because of that specific point and looked toward my friends for emotional support. They recommended I listen to podcast, journal, read books, and make more free time for myself in my weekly schedules. I had never done ANY of these things before and couldn’t wait to try it out. I discovered “Crash the Chatterbox” by Steven Furtik, whom is also a pastor at Elevation church. I listened to podcast on building a better you by letting go of the person you were and accepting failures. I regularly attended he gym and listened to “Feeding your Mind with Success” by Fearless Motivation to push me to set higher goals for myself. Checking off topics on the list meant more to me than accomplishing any academic goal. A check meant I had faced the problem and came up with a solution. A check meant I no longer had to say “I’m insecure about my skin tone” or “I feel more comfortable in black”. A check meant determination and growth. I feel as though I’m not stuck in my own mistakes anymore, I may be stationary but I am not caged. My mind is free. I encouraged all of my friends to create a list of their own and try to settle with pains they weren’t aware of until they wrote the list. Now I challenge you to CHUCK IT!