When Kim Underhill escaped from her abusive marriage years ago, she was determined to ensure that she would be able to provide financially for her two children who were then still young. Despite the gruelling hours of her full time job as well as her night studies, Underhill remained resilient so that she would become financially secure for her and her children. Recalling her mother’s words, she firmly states: “You can cry today but the next day the problems will not go away. You can vent your worries and frustrations but you need to take concrete steps to make a difference.” For her, the ‘concrete steps’ were going to night school while juggling her full time work so that she could climb up the corporate ladder to remain financially independent and secure. Touching on her role as a corporate maven, she is very grateful for her mentor who not only encouraged but also sponsored her studies. “My mentor sponsored the entire 6 years of my night studies and this opened up many job opportunities for me,” she gratefully notes. Thankful for this supportive figure, Underhill pays it forward through social activism.
While she actively volunteers at several female-centric organisations, she is most notably the president of Daughters of Tomorrow. Daughters of Tomorrow focuses on empowering underprivileged women and families by introducing them to sustainable livelihood opportunities that align with them. For example, the Transformation Project in 2021 selects women who have been at a job for six months or more to help them upscale. Another project would be the Elder Care Programme, which provides women with formal training that would allow them to find jobs in nursing homes. Underhill shares that the focus on helping women find careers in the healthcare sector is more prevalent due to COVID-19. “Many local nursing homes hire nurses from the Philippines, however due to COVID-19, many Filippinos have returned to their home country.” She continues: “With attaining the certification, these women can find jobs in the sector that has huge vacancies and ensure their financial security.” In essence, the goal of Daughters of Tomorrow is to help these women to build confidence and at the same time help them grow continuously.
Though she is proud of the achievements by Daughters of Tomorrow, Underhill also acknowledges that it has not been a smooth journey. She estimates that only 30-40% of the 400 women who knock on their doors actually complete the aforementioned programmes. “Many are not emotionally ready for such change. When they see that the government handouts they receive are the same as their payslip, they do not see the point of finding a job for their livelihood,” Underhill expresses. Instead of viewing the statistics with pessimism, she is more determined than ever to engage with underprivileged women and guide them towards being confident and independent.
Underhill’s heavy involvement in volunteering came by chance when she sat next to the founder at an event seven to eight years ago. It was from here on that she made her mark on the world of social activism. On her approach towards volunteerism, she says that she believes in being personally involved in all aspects despite occupying the position of president. In her own words, “I have seen many people volunteering for namesake, but given my experience, I want to be more hands-on in helping women to step up and be confident in all aspects of life.” According to her, seeing these women take her advice, become serious about their jobs, have a shift in mindset and take steps to achieve their goals no matter how minute brings her much joy. Having been in their shoes many years back, she understands that “underprivileged women live in dark corners.” It is by being able to help and inspire these women to be financially independent that she continues to share her story.
Yet it is not just underprivileged women that she hopes her story and her message resonates with. Underhill believes that women must be financially independent even if they are currently in a trusting partnership. Trust and love can switch overnight, Underhill notes. “I know of a woman who trusted and depended financially on her husband. She lived a life of luxury and overnight, along with her three children, she was kicked out of the penthouse by her husband on Christmas Eve. She and her children found themselves living at a swimming pool complex and soon a shelter.” Sharing with me this story, she stresses that women need to have their own life and identity in a seemingly loving partnership.
Underhill is also a successful business woman in the corporate world. Sharing my cousin’s experiences in the corporate world, where she is the only young female in a team filled with males in their late forties, Underhill agrees that the corporate world is still largely a man’s playground. When asked what advice she would like to impart to females who are considered greenhorns in their line of work as compared to their male counterparts, she vehemently proclaims to hold your own brand and not allow one to intimidate you. The first step is to recognize that you are inexperienced and that it is nothing to be ashamed about. Do not let this stop you from showcasing your abilities or to take on leadership roles. “Work in a way that you are able to have a conversation with your colleagues where you let them know that you appreciate learning from there,” advised Underhill. She believes that it is by building communication especially with those who might seem difficult to work with that you can foster better relationships. Additionally, it also allows the other party to see that you are someone who is not afraid to be open and honest, someone who is not afraid to speak their mind.
“When asked what advice she would like to impart to females who are considered greenhorns in their line of work as compared to their male counterparts, she vehemently proclaims to hold your own brand and not allow one to intimidate you.”
Going back to the topic of her children, who were her anchors and what pushed her forward during her lowest moments, she admits it was challenging juggling the many roles she had especially during the beginning of her career. Her career required her to travel three weeks out of a month which meant that she did not see her children very often. As such she focused on quality time where she could spend those precious moments bonding with her children. “They were in a single parent family, but did not lack emotional support,” she proudly proclaims — she has always been open about her difficulties and their situation with her children. This allowed them to better understand her decisions and allowed them to become a tight-knit family.
Because of her demanding schedule, Underhill is a strong advocate of prioritising one’s mental health. When her children were younger, she would intentionally send them to bed by 9pm so that she could have some alone time. This ‘me time’, as she terms it, was a chance for her to decompress by carrying out activities that helped her relax such as doing her nails and having a homespa. For women who have escaped from an abusive marriage, she encourages them to remember this acronym C.E.O, which stands for having control, managing expectations and not overthinking. Accept that you might not have made the best decision, focus on the aspects that you can control and take baby steps to achieve your goals.
However it is not all chaos when it comes to managing her roles. Rather, Underhill has thrived in them. Looking back on her years in the corporate world, she feels fulfilled in having coached and sponsored her ex-staff members and seeing them transform and reach their potential. Moreover, she keeps in contact with her ex-colleagues even though they left the company 15 to 18 years ago! It is not just the corporate world where she feels a sense of achievement. When the founder of Daughters of Tomorrow left the organisation Underhill knew that she had big shoes to fill as the new organisation needed mentoring. She personally mentored and coached their executive director and first level manager. Her outstanding leadership skills are reflected in the success of Daughters of Tomorrow. Even though she has definitely achieved great things in her role as a volunteer and a corporate maven, it is in her personal life where she feels most gratified.
Having lived on private property for a good portion of her life, she has recently moved into a Flexi-HDB. When she announced this change to her friends and family, they were astonished and even worried that she might feel lonely living alone in a smaller apartment. The comment that stuck out to her was her friend commenting that her downgrading would tarnish her professional coaching image. However when Underhill revealed she would still be coaching at an American club, her friend heaved a sigh of relief. Looking at me in disbelief, she does not see the connection between where one lives and what one works at. Instead of living life working towards attaining material things, she sees a successful life as one that has an impact on others. This passion in helping others is reflected in Shebrilliance which was launched just last year. This relatively new organisation aims to provide mentorship where mid-career-level women are paired up with a female mentor who holds well regarded positions in the corporate world. Additionally, the organisation has held several workshops and gives back to non-profit organisations. Despite being launched less than six months ago, Shebrilliance has seen 160 to 170 women joining in the organisation as a mentor or mentee. An exciting and upcoming project which is slated to launch in the third quarter of 2022 aims to pair up female university students who are in their last year with a mentee, similarly to that of the aforementioned programme. This will allow female university students to gain more insights into the corporate world as they begin to embark their journey into the corporate world.
As we prepared to end the interview, a grinning Underhill once again mentioned how she is utterly grateful for the life she has despite its rocky beginnings. She has accomplished so many things in her lifetime that—in her own words—she is okay even if she does not wake up tomorrow.
HerCampus would like to extend their gratitude towards Kim Underhill and her team as well as Daughters of Tomorrow for taking the time out of their day to organise this interview.