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Sex + Relationships

What To Do When Your Crush Is Already Taken

Have you ever wanted something but it was unavailable? Have you ever imagined what it would be like if it could be yours, even if it was just for a moment? I have done that several times, and not with an object, but with the person that I am crushing on. It’s only fun to have a crush when the person that you have your eye on is available. When you catch feelings for someone in a committed relationship, and it can hurt almost as badly as a breakup.

Our hearts will still ache for what could have been, even if you are not in that committed relationship. Wanting to be with someone can really remain on your mind, and can even drive you insane. Here are a few ways that you can stop that crush on someone who is unavailable before it reaches the point of no return:

Avoid Unnecessary Interactions

When you are constantly running into your crush, whether it be at work, school, or social events, it can cause legitimate emotional agony. It can be a big benefit to your heart and sanity to try and limit these interactions as much as possible. Just small tweaks like dodging their desk or saying that you are running late when you bump into them in the hall can really go a long way in subtly distancing yourself. However, if you are like me and the subject of your crush happens to be in your major and in your classes, this can become a bit of a nightmare to find a way to work around it.

Just remember to be pleasant to them and not overly friendly to them. You are not forbidding yourself from talking to them, but you are just reducing your own emotional attachment to them.

Limit Your Social Media Stalking

When you see your crush’s post, stories, and status updates will only magnify the emotions you are feeling when you see your crush and their partner going on dates, and those dates are not with you. This is why you need to limit your digital interactions with them. You don’t need to be overdramatic and block them or even unfriend them. By simply unfollowing them or muting them on Instagram or Twitter will do the trick. 

Additionally, if you still find yourself pursuing your crush’s tagged pictures while you are bored browsing on your social media, you may need to try and curb your habit and spend less time on social media altogether.

Distract Yourself With Other People and Activities

If your crush happens to be within your social circle, you may be tempted to try and suppress your feelings and maintain your friendship. But when it happens that you are emotionally invested in them, trying to maintain your friendship can become a mess of emotions for you.

There is unfortunately no magic cure for an unrequited crush, but when you focus on other relationships or find a new passion can sometimes help you with the healing period of getting over your crush. Don’t be afraid to hit up your other friends and hang out with them more. Get into a niche sport like running, and, if you are up to it, go on a date. Just try and do anything that can help distract you from the idea of being with this person and believing that they are your one true path to happiness. If it is meant to happen, living your best life won’t get in the way.

Give Your Crush’s Partner A Break

If you have ever watched a rom-com, you know that the plot always starts with a love interest who happens to already be in a relationship with a catty, super-uninteresting monster of a woman whose only goal in life is to try and keep the two main characters from getting together. However, this is not a rom-com, this is real life. In real life, your crush’s partner is a person, not an obstacle.

By casting your crush’s girlfriend/boyfriend as a villain makes it easier to fixate on a breakup that will give you the opportunity to slip in. This fantasy, although unrealistic, will either disappoint you, or will keep you looking towards the future instead of living in the moment. This is why you are better off accepting the status quo rather than how you feel about your crush’s choice in partners.

Admit To Yourself That You Do Not Want To Be The Other Woman

There is something about wanting something that you cannot have that can be seductive. It can be especially true when your crush is a total flirt despite being taken, which can be bad news from the get-go. See, even if they do not cheat-cheat with you, if they badmouth their partner to you or sometimes hold your hand when they are drunk, guess what! That’s emotional cheating- and one strike for infidelity. 


No matter what happens, always be sure to live your life to the fullest in the moment. It is okay to think about what could have been, but never let yourself dwell on it.

Gabrielle Gray

Murray State '22

Gabrielle Gray is currently a senior at Murray State University majoring in Elementary Education.Other than attending classes, you can find her drinking coffee at Shaffer Coffee Co., eating sushi from Market 22 in the Curris Center, or helping out around the university. Gabrielle is heavily involved at Murray State University by being one of the College of Education and Human Services senators for the 2020-2021 academic year for the Murray State University Student Government Association, volunteering for events being held around campus, as well as being a social butterfly. Check her out this Fall at the Springer housing desk, or when she occasionally works at her second home: Dan's Southern Prep.
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