Farts might be natural, but they’re definitely not socially acceptable in pretty much all situations. No matter how much you deny or try to hide it, farts will be noticed. And they will be embarrassing. In this submission of Spill, readers confessed their embarrassing fart stories.
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Most Embarrassing Fart Stories:
“I was in class in middle school and we were working silently. I leaned forward and a fart came out, but I tried not to react. I didn’t think anyone heard. I was wrong. Later that day, at a sports practice, the other girls that were in the class brought it up and blamed it on another girl in the class. I didn’t say anything….”
“When my boyfriend and I first started dating, he fell asleep while we were lying on the couch. He farted super loud in his sleep, and I was trying not to laugh. All of a sudden, he woke up and says, “Did I just fart?” He was dreaming about farting, and I laughed so hard that I fell off the couch!”
“The first time I was studying with this guy I liked, I farted kind of quietly. My roommate was also in the room, and she looked over at me about to laugh. I quickly told her it was my shoe. I don’t think the boy noticed, and now we are dating. He still thinks I’ve never farted in front of him, though.”
“My mom and I were in Target, and I was showing her how my cousin taught me to fart on command. I thought it was the coolest thing EVER. My mom kept warning me to stop trying to perform my new trick, saying that I’d end up with a mess. I didn’t listen, of course. And she was right, as always. I ended up pooping in my pants IN THE MIDDLE OF TARGET. I waddled away, sobbing, to the bathroom while my mom went and bought me new panties. We get a good laugh from this story now, but it was traumatizing. Thank goodness it didn’t ruin my relationship with Target!”
“This actually happened to my little brother. We were in church and the choir sang, “AMEEEEEEN.” Right after the song ended, it was dead silent. My brother farted so loud on the wooden pew. My family and the families around us were trying to laugh silently which made it even funnier.”
“I farted while taking a quiz in middle school. It was really quiet in the class, and I tried to hold it in. It slipped out when I leaned forward, so I got really nervous if anyone heard it. I turned around to my friends and they started laughing at me. My friends and I still refer to it as ‘the squeek’ because of how funny it sounded.”
“This wasn’t me, but in 5th grade the class was sitting on the floor for some discussion. I pushed my friend over, and she laughed so hard she farted. Everyone heard.”
“Once I was at dance and we were stretching. I didn’t think it was going to be loud, but it was. It was pretty bad.”
“The guy my roommate recently started dating came over, and the three of us were sitting on the floor watching a movie. Something made me laugh super hard, and I farted right next to his head. Thankfully he just laughed about it.”
“My boyfriend invited me over to watch a scary movie with him and his friends. They knew I don’t like scary movies. I was sitting on the couch with my boyfriend, and one of his friends was sitting on the floor right in front of me. There was a really scary scene, and it made me jump. When I jumped, a loud fart came out. His friend, whose head was right next to where I was sitting, also jumped up and said, ‘I ain’t never been shit on by a woman before.’ The next time I came over, they had a poster that said ‘no farting.’ They got it because of me and my most embarrassing fart ever.”