My worst nightmare always consisted of me finding myself, lost and confused, in a brand new place, all alone and not knowing anyone. And then I went to college. Quite literally forced into my own worst nightmare. A brand new school in a brand new state, and I only knew a handful of people from high school. Awesome. Classes were the least of my priority at this point. All I cared about was finding people to at least talk to. I bummed a few friends off of my roommate who had been moved in for a few days already. But, I wasn’t sure how I was going to go about finding my own.
(Photo by Thomas Peham on Unsplash)
Was I supposed to just chill by myself until I found someone just as alone as I was? It seemed everyone had already made friends by the time classes rolled around. Right, some moved in earlier than I did, specifically to rush for Greek life. Is that how everyone makes friends in college? It seemed obvious. From an outsider perspective, it seemed joining a sorority meant you made a hundred new friends instantly. Greek life was never a part of my college plan, however. It never felt right to me. Believing I missed out on my chance to belong, college seemed too momentous than ever. Without those letters, would I ever find a group to call my own? A group to make me feel like it mattered that I was there?
With time, yes. Perhaps taking part in Greek life is a really efficient way to meet loads of people and, with that many, you’re bound to end up with a few friends. But, without all that immediate interaction, meeting new people is not as simple. Sometimes it is going out of your way to sit next to someone and hoping the both of you will get along. Sometimes it is building up the courage to ask the person you only talk to in class to eat lunch with you after class. Sometimes it is saying ‘yes’ when someone offers to sit with you when you’re all alone. Sometimes it is a simple compliment that blooms into a friendship effortlessly over time. Every chance and every interaction opens up the door for friendship to occur. It is hard to predict what the future holds when just greeting someone.
Being or not being involved with Greek life does not determine your future in college. Friends come and go in every scenario. Putting yourself out there and remaining authentic is the most anyone can do in hopes of attracting the right person. And, eventually, that right person introduces you to another person, and then another as your network of connections continues to grow.
For now, you may feel like the odd one out for not rushing. But, with time, genuine human connection is possible, and you will find the right friend that just makes everything click.