Look, I know I wrote an article about not having a depressed Valentine’s Day when you’re single, but, let’s face it, it can still happen. These feelings can even carry into the next day, week, or any stretch of time. As decorations remain up, sales on the remaining merchandise exist, the day after doesn’t just automatically feel different. It’s still another day filled with reminders. How do you cope with this? You were just as single as on any other given day, but what makes this day still feel so bad?
To answer this question, we need to backtrack to the stigma around being single. No where in the rule book of life does it say being single has to mean you’re not happy or it’s not by choice. I know a lot of people who got out of relationships, or maybe have never been in them, and have no desire to seek someone out. Whether it’s for emotional reasons or no reason at all, sometimes being single is just how it needs to be for now. Not everyone feels the need to prioritize finding a partner. School, work, family, friends, are all time-consuming enough in our busy day-to-day lives, and now I have to fall in love with someone? And, what if it doesn’t work out? Was it just a waste of time?
People often assume that being in a relationship fixes everything in your life. Maybe if you had a boyfriend, you wouldn’t be so sad because you would never feel alone. That’s not true. It’s not actual loneliness that brings sadness; it’s the perception of loneliness. Someone could have the largest support group in the world, but if they still feel alone, that is their reality. If you’re single and you don’t perceive yourself as being alone, then you most likely won’t feel lonely. Friends, family, coworkers, whoever you surround yourself with can make up for the “lack” of social support that a significant other may bring.
Although I can’t help but wonder what I’m missing out on by not being in a relationships, I can see the downsides based on those close to me. I have a hard enough time balancing all of my priorities while maintaining close friendships, but what if I could never pencil in a significant other? Or, do you just automatically make time for them because of who they are to you? Do you always make it work, or does it just work? While having a significant other to share memories and moments with sounds nice, you think about the memories and moments you share with friends and family as well.
As the only couple-centric holiday, Valentine’s Day gets a bad reputation. There will always be people bitter about the holiday, but this really stems from being upset about being single. Weirdly enough, despite the hookup culture so prevalent in society, we still feel the need to seek out long-term relationships and feel upset or on the outskirts if we don’t have one, especially around Valentine’s Day. Would it be nice? Yes, absolutely. Is it a necessity to a happy life? No, I’d say not. I’m doing just fine. So, what do we do? Do we just roll our eyes at happy couples and continue to post on the internet about how sad we are? Or, do we take charge of being single and surround ourselves with people we truly care about? I’d honestly prefer the latter. Let couples enjoy their day; their happiness is not your sadness. But, if Valentine’s Day is really your worst enemy, try to get creative on how to make this day better for the next time it rolls around without a partner. This one day does not define how worthy we are based on whether or not we have a special someone to share it with.