Disclaimer: These are just some tips the author is giving through their own experience.
College is a time of exploration, learning, and growth. It is also a time when many people experience romantic feelings for someone who may not feel the same way. Unrequited love, or loving someone who does not love you back, can be painful and frustrating. But it is not uncommon, and it does not mean that there is something wrong with you.
In this article, we will discuss some of the reasons why unrequited love happens, how to deal with the emotions and situations that arise from it, and how to move on and heal from heartbreak.
Why does unrequited love happen?
There are many possible reasons why someone may not reciprocate your feelings. Some of them are:
- They are already in a relationship with someone else.
- They are not interested in a romantic relationship at all.
- They have different preferences, values, or goals than you.
- They are not emotionally available or ready for a relationship.
- They are not aware of your feelings or do not see you in a romantic way.
- They are afraid of rejection, commitment, or intimacy.
None of these reasons are personal or reflect your worth as a person. Sometimes, people just do not click or match in a romantic way, and that is okay. It does not mean that you are unlovable or that you will never find someone who loves you back.
How to deal with unrequited love?
Unrequited love can cause a lot of emotional distress, such as sadness, anger, jealousy, anxiety, loneliness, or low self-esteem. It can also affect your academic performance, social life, and mental health. Here are some tips on how to cope with unrequited love in a healthy way:
- Acknowledge and accept your feelings. Do not deny, suppress, or judge yourself for having feelings for someone who does not feel the same way. It is normal and natural to have such feelings, and they do not make you weak or pathetic. Allow yourself to feel what you feel, and express those feelings in a safe and constructive way, such as writing in a journal, talking to a friend, or seeking professional help if needed.
- Set boundaries and limit contact. If the person you love is someone you see often, such as a classmate, a friend, or a co-worker, it may be hard to get over them if you are constantly exposed to them. You may need to create some distance and space between you and them, at least temporarily, until your feelings subside. This means avoiding situations where you may run into them, reducing communication with them (texting, calling, social media), and focusing on other aspects of your life. This does not mean that you have to cut them off completely or be rude to them, but that you respect yourself and your needs.
- Distract yourself and stay busy. One of the best ways to cope with unrequited love is to divert your attention and energy to other things that make you happy and fulfilled. This could be pursuing your hobbies, interests, or passions, joining clubs or organizations on campus, volunteering for a cause you care about, spending time with friends and family who support you, or learning new skills or languages. By doing these things, you will boost your mood, self-confidence, and self-esteem, and discover new aspects of yourself that are not defined by your romantic feelings.
- Practice self-care and self-compassion. Unrequited love can take a toll on your physical and mental well-being. That is why it is important to take care of yourself and treat yourself kindly during this difficult time. This means eating well, sleeping enough, exercising regularly, meditating or relaxing, and doing things that bring you joy and comfort. It also means being gentle and understanding with yourself, and not blaming or criticizing yourself for something that is not your fault or under your control. Remember that you are worthy of love and respect and that this experience does not define who you are or what you can achieve.