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The Ultimate Guide to Surviving End Sems (Without Actually Studying)

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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at MUJ chapter.

Ah, end sem week. That magical time where sleep becomes a distant memory, and an unholy combination of caffeine and existential dread turns students into demogorgons. Textbooks gather dust while students become experts at competitive napping and sketching stick figures. But fear not! This here is your ultimate guide to surviving end sems without, you know, actually studying.

Step 1: Befriend the Popular Kid (Even if they lowkey suck)

Now I know you’re no Hermione Granger, so cramming is out of the question. But what you can do is leverage the power of social osmosis! Befriend the student with the colour-coded notes and the “straight A student” energy. Slide into their DMs (or real-life messages, whatever the boomers call it these days) and casually mention your, uh, “unique” approach to studying. They’ll be so scared by your lack of preparation that they might just share their holy grail study guide.

Step 2: Procrastination: Your best friend

Open your textbook, scroll through memes for 30 minutes, then close the book. Repeat until you’ve mastered the art of not studying. Then consume a family-sized bag of chips while contemplating the meaning of life. Bonus points if you accidentally spill crumbs on your notes. And the good thing about procrastination is that you can conveniently blame it on the Mercury retrograde.

Step 3: Have You Tried Ranting? (It works!)

And while you procrastinate, don’t forget to wonder what your friends are doing. Hit that three-people group chat up and ask their prep status. Then start a political discussion trashing the education system or the questionable corn palak they serve in the mess (seriously, what is that stuff!??). You could also discuss that pimple that just popped up on your beautiful face from all this worrying about exams or maybe talk shit about your ex – whatever suits your fancy. Just remember, don’t let your friends study suffer alone, you’d be doing them a favour.

Step 4: Making Notes is so 2012, Make a Playlist Instead

Because let’s face it, sometimes the only thing that’s stopping you from studying is not the enormous pile of notes staring you down, but that one feeling you never processed. And what better time to do so than end sem week? So, go ahead. Get your fingers rolling and curate a mix that perfectly encapsulates your feelings for your boyfriend’s ex. Or you could just “this is me trying” your way through the night. That works too.

Step 5: Prayer, Ritual Dances, and Sacrifices to the Exam Gods (Because at this point, why not?)

So, you’ve successfully made it to the night before the exam and the number of pages you’ve studied is less than the strands of hair on Andrew Tate’s head. Look, desperate times call for desperate measures. Dial up your preferred deity’s hotline (Alexa, play Hanuman Chalisa), perfect your interpretive dance routine involving textbooks and your pen that would make even the weirdest TikTok trend blush, or maybe even consider sacrificing your favourite sock to the ever-demanding Exam Gods. Who knows, it might just work.

Step 6: Master the Art of the Bluff

Sometimes, the best defence is a good offence. Enter the exam room with the confidence of someone who definitely aced all the practice tests (even though they haven’t seen one). Channel your inner Alex Dunphy and unleash a flurry of educated guesses so convincing, they’d make your professor recheck the marking scheme. Bonus points for using big words that sound vaguely relevant (pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, anyone?).

Step 7: Acceptance is Key

Alright, so maybe this guide wasn’t exactly brimming with stellar study habits. But hey, cut yourself some slack! Sometimes, the pressure of exams can feel like finals week itself is a sentient being actively trying to trip you up. So, let’s embrace a little acceptance with a sprinkle of self-deprecating humour (because that’s what gets us through the end sem week, right?). And the beauty of academia? It’s cyclical, like that weird dream you keep having about that grumpy old professor of yours strangling you with a shoelace. Sure, you might be facing a potential academic do-over, but hey, that just means another chance to redeem yourself (with actual studying this time, I pinky swear…ish).

Disclaimer: This guide is purely for entertainment purposes. We highly recommend actual studying for optimal exam performance. But hey, if you manage to pull off an A through sheer luck and audacity, more power to you. Just don’t tell your professor we told you this or you might be looking at a detention. Adios.

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I'm a B. Tech. CSE major at Manipal University Jaipur. I'm as passionate about technology as I am about bringing a change in people's lives through my writing. I advocate for equality and empowerment of minorities. A self proclaimed sitcom enthusiast and a huge coursework procrastinator (don't worry, deadlines get met!), I'm fuelled by music and the magic of rom-coms.