When we fall for someone, we just do. But after that, if it is mutual and we see a future in it, it is our choice to put in effort for the relationship to make it last. But shouldn’t love come naturally and not seem like an effort? But at the same time, on some ‘not-so-sunny’ days, can love still feel like a chore? Let’s discuss
As mentioned earlier, when love is new it feels more natural, it does not feel like a chore initially, sure, but what about times when you have a fight with them? Well, applying the same logic, if it is love then it should be bigger and win over the many arguments in the end. But sometimes the fights just seem never-ending so how do you determine what to do anymore? Really, how difficult is it to still be in it and how easy it is to leave when things don’t seem to be working out? In fact, it is the toughest to leave at times. It all just comes down to love, I believe. Not in a fleeting feeling kind of way but in those passionate-turned-mundane flames that make commitment arise, one which makes you want to stay. And if not that then the courage to make the right decision, true to your heart.
The concept of love at first sight has always enraptured us in unfathomable ways, paving paths to standards which protect us from alliances that are not worth it while also upholding the responsibility of that from our end.
“I didn’t fall in love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we’d choose anyway. And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you”
– Kierstan White
Also, love can’t be forced but it can’t be complained about either if they don’t show up in ways we want them to without letting them know. However, some basics are expected in a relationship. Love languages, non-verbal cues and even micro-expressions being picked up by your partner without you openly admitting anything about it, is an absolutely amazing place to start from and it can only grow from there but it is also up to us to keep expressing that love and gratitude to acknowledge their love and efforts towards us.
“I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as the starfish loves a coral reef and as kudzu loves trees, even if the oceans turn to sawdust and the trees fall in the forest without anyone around to hear them… I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close… I will love you until your face is fogged by distant memory. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else–and i will love you if you never marry at all, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all. That is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.”
– Lemony Snicket
On the other hand, sometimes we may feel the person has ‘changed’ but the goal of love is not to keep them but to keep evolving with them. So, if there comes a point when we don’t align with them at all anymore, then it is in our hands to discuss it, listen to their side too and make a decision for the greater good of both. But it all starts with self-love! Whether love is an effort or not, if the only effort being put is from your side, you know it is time to look within, redirect the energy and communicate once again. When you radiate love, you only allow The Love to come in which is truly meant for you. Because “we only accept the love we think we deserve”, right?
Alright, well, concluding, wasn’t all this work?
Or was it love?
Can one even outwork love?
Perhaps, both are sides of the same coin.
Perhaps, both brush skin accidentally, embrace the warmth and then hold hands together because they want to <3
“In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.”
– Everything All At Once
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