“Pink looks pretty,
When they are feathery skirts rolled around a girl’s waist
But, pink looks shitty
When boys wear them in taste”
In India, clothing, and gender have been stripped down to a set of rules and codes. Blue is for boys, whereas pink is for girls. People start referring to a female as a “tomboy” if she chooses to dress in anything but a conventionally feminine manner. Surprisingly, this label is still acceptable in some circles of Indian culture, where girls wearing clothes stereotypically associated with men’s clothes are regarded as “cool” and valued by the community.
When it comes to boys, however, this is not the case. A boy who prefers to dress in anything stereotypically feminine is despised by society and not entertained at all. This aspect of Indian Society puzzles me the most. It is defective. It prevents anyone from exercising independence and making their own decisions.
It doesn’t put a person’s right to their body autonomy first but instead emphasizes the importance of what other people think. I recall my mother worrying more about what other people would think of me than about whether or not her child felt comfortable with what he was wearing.
As an openly gay person, I have always wanted to wear certain clothing items which didn’t align with the custom fashion trends of India. After enrolling in college, I was able to muster the guts and confidence to wear them at last, and I did. I had never felt more secure in myself than when I began dressing how I want to and not how society expects me to dress. Clothes are more than just pieces of fabric that people use to cover up their bodies. They also aid in self-expression and other beneficial aspects like boosting self-esteem and feeling good about oneself.
Not surprisingly, I had to cope with many awkward situations, such as people continually gazing at me, using slurs against me, or making fun of my sense of style. Some even went as far as calling my name and making fun of my attire. Now, I’m not claiming that any of this was unexpected; rather, what concerns me is the fact that I have to deal with it daily simply for being who I am.
It’s important for our society to realize that a person’s gender or sexual orientation is not determined by the clothes they wear. Personally, I find it difficult to comprehend how Indian society operates. It is made up of innumerable laws and precepts that everyone must follow, but for what reason? Simply to blend in with a harmful and stigmatized society? How much longer are we going to be held captive by these social norms?