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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Muhlenberg chapter.

As painful as it might be, we’ve all had these moments happen to us; your group of friends decides to go out, and they don’t bother to send you an invite, or you tag along and you’re not even acknowledged for the entire trip. Feeling ostracized by your group of friends hurts, and maybe, you might even realize that you’re not as good of friends as you thought you were. You might find yourself reminiscing on the times where you would go above and beyond for the sake of your friend’s feelings, but, they just would never do the same for you. Those words might sound harsh, but for those who understand how it feels to be ‘left out,’ it’s what we’re all thinking. If there ever is a problem or your friends might need help with something, you’re the first person they call. And if they decide to go out on a late night trip without you, you’re the last person on their mind. It’s interesting to see how things work out this way, especially when your friends only include you when it’s convenient. If this situation sounds completely relatable, then you’re in the right place.  

It’s hard to experience feelings of exclusion or to feel as if you’re alone and nobody else can understand what it feels like. And now, I’m not writing this article just for the sake of reflecting on my own past experiences, but I’ve realized that throughout my short college career that there are so many people that feel the same way, and it’s something that we all face at one point in our lives. This is something that I want to address, mainly because, there are so many people who face these problems, and simply don’t want to talk about it for fear of being perceived as rude or ‘petty.’ But, feeling ‘petty’ over certain situations is just another way of saying that your feelings are hurt and that’s okay! If you’re finding yourself feeling this way, then keep on reading.  

Take some time to reevaluate the state of your own friendships

Depending on the context of the situation, it might be best to ask yourself if you’re being treated right by your friends and if there is anything that you can do improve your relationships. No matter what the situation may be, the bottom line is, you deserve to be respected by your friends. If you’re finding that there are people in your life that make you feel unappreciated, it may be time to think about the kind of people that you’re surrounding yourself with.

Don’t feel guilty about being upset; your feelings are valid

One of the hardest parts about feeling left out is acknowledging how you feel and understand that it’s okay to be upset, angry, disappointed, etc. Any sort of negativity in your life is bound to make you feel uneasy and oftentimes it’s difficult to avoid but denying the fact that these things bother you might prolong the situation even more. If it would make you feel better, talk to someone who you trust about the situation, and get an honest, supportive opinion. Or, you might even want to consider opening up a conversation with the people that made you feel this way.   

Focus on yourself

With balancing academics, extracurricular activities, and a social life, college is already stressful enough and reflecting on the actions of people that hurt you will keep you from moving past the situation. It hurts to feel as if you are not being treated the same way you treat other people, but finding the right people, especially in college, takes time. Everything happens for a reason no matter how hurt we may feel. You don’t always need to be hanging out with a group of people to make yourself happy. Spend time on yourself and focus on the things that matter to you. Before you know it, friendships will begin to fall into place.  

Caitlin Burns

Muhlenberg '21

Muhlenberg Marketing and Publicity Director Business Marketing and Dance double major 
Hello! My name is Caroline Kinney, and I am the Campus Correspondent of the Muhlenberg Her Campus Chapter! I am originally from Leesburg, Virginia (D.C./Maryland/Virginia area) and currently a sophomore majoring in Theatre with a minor in Creative Writing. I am elated to be entering into this position at Her Campus Muhlenberg. My primary goals as the President/Editor-In-Chief of the chapter is to have an intersectionality approach to all of our content and to create a special bond between every team member in the chapter. Lover of corgis, guacamole, and intersectional feminism. I am so excited for this semester!