To put it simply, I am a twin, and I have a fraternal twin sister. And when I say fraternal, I mean fraternal. We look nothing alike and have zero similarities. The weirdest phenomenon is that people can’t tell us apart, despite our differences. It’s as if when people hear the word “twin,” their brain turns off. All of a sudden, they can’t tell us apart (even though they perfectly could before). Although it’s rather annoying when this happens, as long as people try to “tell us apart” and treat us as separate people, it is perfectly fine. This almost never happens.
Another weird thing about being a twin is the strange and invasive questions I get asked. Some of them are fine and sometimes fun to answer, such as, “Who was born first?”, “How many minutes apart are y’all?”, and “What’s the best part about being a twin?’ I have no problem answering these questions. Some of them, however, can become a little invasive and just straight-up weird, such as “Why are your skin colors different if you’re twins?”, and “Who’s the smart one, and who’s the dumb one?” Questions I get the most are questions I like to label as stupid, such as “Can you read each other’s minds?” “Can you feel each other’s pain?”, and “Have you ever switched places and pretended to be the other person?” These questions are the hardest to answer because they are obviously unrealistic. People ask them because they see it as fun, but after you get asked the same questions repeatedly, it gets annoying.
After stating the questions I’ve been asked throughout my lifetime, I feel I need to address the real issue regarding them: social boundaries. For some odd reason, these questions are socially acceptable, even when they are really uncomfortable to answer. Other siblings don’t get asked these questions, so why is it okay to ask twins? It’s as if all social boundaries disappear because we are twins, and people see it as “fun” and “quirky.” Although these questions are uncomfortable, it’s rude if we say something back and we’re seen as “not playing along” even though we are setting the obvious lackluster boundaries. People should think before they speak when it comes to asking invasive and personal questions.
The last problem caused by people when it comes to being a twin are the comparisons. Although all siblings get compared with each other, it is more personal when it comes to twins. I have had people stand in front of me and my sister and closely analyze our faces. They will then continue to point out that our foreheads are different sizes, one’s hair is thicker and one is thinner, that our faces are different shapes, etc. Being examined in that way is not fun and really dehumanizing. No one likes to be intricately looked at, let alone be compared to someone else, especially someone you’re related to. Even though we get compared physically, we also get compared with our personalities. People will track how one of us is more “sporty,” and the other is more “academic.” People will hone in on how we have different friends or don’t like the same music. When people notice these things, they see it as a shock, and the world will implode because their vision of us being similar is not true at all. We are, in fact, different people, and we wish others would see that.
I love being a twin, and I could never imagine my life any other way. It is important to acknowledge that people’s opinions and ways of interrogating twins have a bigger effect than people realize. It should not be socially acceptable to view twins as a special occurrence. Twins should be seen as normal, because they are.