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Why It’s Okay to Put More Trust in Yourself

That mistake you made last week. It’s ok, it happened last week and I’m pretty sure a new coffee stain to the floor won’t hurt anyone. The guy you accidentally bumped and made eye contact with—he’s kind of cute, why not “accidentally” bump into him again the next time you see him? The homework assigned that was due today, but you totally forgot about—look, procrastinating doesn’t look good on you so start doing more assignments ahead of time. There are so many mistakes and mess-ups that are going to occur in the future. You’re probably going to make another one in the next five minutes… and five minutes after that. I don’t mean to make a joke of it but how can we recover from these little things without a little snort and laughter?

Just imagine all the good things that came from your mistakes. That close-your-eyes-and-send snapchat to the cute guy just got you his phone number and a facetime call this weekend. That hem on the wrong side of the shorts just became a new funky skirt. Even looking at the saddening mistakes can be beneficial too because those lessons will stay with you and you’ll know that it’s ok to be a little apprehensive sometimes opposed to impulsive.

When you think about the word trust, your first thought is about relationships. Familial or romantic, the relationship is with someone who you are deciding whether or not has earned your trust. But what about you? What about that relationship you have with yourself? I bet you’ve never sat and truly thought, “Do I trust myself?” Now at first response, you’ll say, “Yes of course.” You might even question me as to why I would ask such a preposterous question in the first place.

I encourage you to think over the question a few more times, I’m sure it won’t be as clear as you think. You “have” to trust yourself. It wouldn’t make sense not to, right? It may seem like a backwards question but recollect all the times your doubt was your backseat driver. Remember when you were up for that job but didn’t take it because “it was overwhelming, and you probably wouldn’t be able to handle it anyway.” Well that “probably” is the reason why you’re stuck at your third-choice job fetching coffee for the guy who has half your experience but twice the gumption. All those times you decided to take the easier road, turned your back on an opportunity, or isolated yourself altogether, you proved time and time again that you’d rather trust everyone else but the one person who deserves it the most.

Trust is not an easy thing. Sometimes it seems more appealing to trust your friend to drive you to school instead of getting behind the wheel just after you passed your drivers’ test. No one can blame you especially since you’re just now coming into yourself and have to do more things on your own as a growing adult. Just like anything else, it’s one day and one step at a time. Even if you do extend yourself and fail, don’t use that as an excuse to reel yourself back into self-criticism and self-doubt. If no one hasn’t told you yet, mistakes are inevitable, but they don’t have to act as a punch in the gut every time they happen.

Instead of beating yourself up, stand in your truth and take accountability. No one cares that it took you three times to parallel park, trust that on the fourth you’ll nail it. It doesn’t matter what scenario you’re in, your trust in yourself only improves your chances. Hey, even if things didn’t work out, you’ll still have the confidence to say you were fearful or hesitant and did it anyway. Look at that, your relationship with yourself just got a little closer.

Yazmenne Archer

Montclair '21

Yaz is a senior majoring in Communication and Media Arts with a minor in Creative Writing. She has a strong passion for storytelling and inviting readers with a conversational style. She believes that everyone’s story should be heard and continues to write pieces that promote self discovery and wellbeing. Though she specializes in writing pieces, she also dabbles in genres of poetry and fiction.
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