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I don’t mean to curse or use foul language, but I’ve dealt with my fair share of a**holes! Yes, that’s right and if you’re reading this, I’m glad you know who you are. There’s something I have come to realize lately and it took a while for me to understand it. That’s, “stop chasing what doesn’t want you.” I know it’s hard to accept, trust me, I didn’t accept it until now at 21-years-old. But the question is, why would you want to be with someone who walked away from you? Yet alone, why are you chasing after them, trying to change their mind? 

The first thing you must realize is, the right person would never walk away, even if things got hard or messy. You should never have to convince someone that they’re supposed to be with you. If they want to end things or move on, you have to let them. That’s honestly going to be the hardest part about it. Especially if you think they were so perfect for you. Here is the hard truth:  If they chose to leave you, then they weren’t that perfect person for you after all. 

When you chase after someone it looks like you aren’t confident with yourself, and we can’t have any of that! Be confident in letting that person go, because people walk out of your life so that the right ones can walk in! You probably had thoughts in your head like- Was it all my fault? What could I have done differently? Is there someone else? These kinds of thoughts will just drive you crazy and I am talking from experience here! This is where you have to stay strong and find that confidence within you. There is nothing wrong with you, and the truth is there probably isn’t much you could have done differently to change their mind. Nobody is perfect and you want someone who will love you for all your little quirks and flaws. If they think there’s someone more perfect out there, let them go find out there’s not. They’ll be doing you a favor! 

Here’s another helpful perspective as well. Have you ever been the one who walked away? When that person you left tries to change your mind or remind you of what you had once or twice, it can be understanding or even work. But the ones who just non-stop keep trying to contact you and won’t let it go- don’t take any offense here, but they become annoying! Trust me, if you want that person to realize they made a mistake, little to no communication is the best idea. It’ll cause them to have all of those thoughts I mentioned before, plus more! Why aren’t they reaching out? Are they fine without me? Did I mess up? HA! We love a good unexpected role reversal. 

To leave off, I will share with you a quote that honestly got me through my last breakup. “When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch up.” Read that one again! It may not happen right away, or it may happen tomorrow, but have faith that everything happens for a reason. One more thing to leave you with, they always come back around. Too bad when they do, you will be so far gone!

Kayla Francione is a senior at Montclair State University. She is majoring in Television and Digital Media with a concentration in Sports Media and Journalism. She is hoping to land a job as a sports broadcaster for a professional team, league, or network. Beyond her passion for sports, she has a bunch of other hobbies. She really enjoys fitness, living a healthy lifestyle, fashion, traveling and spending time with friends and family.
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