One of the most exciting moments for a person joining a Greek organization is the day they find out who their Big is.
I can’t speak for fraternities, but in sororities, the build up is intense, and when your Big reveals herself to you, it is one of the happiest moments you have as a new sister. You look at all the preparation that goes into taking a Little. You realize that all of your Big’s hard work was for you, and you feel on top of the world. And in that moment, your mind may wander a little bit, and you may start to think what you would want to do when you take a Little. That is, if you take a Little.
I remember getting the news that I would not be a Big. I read the message over and over again because it took a while for the message to sink in. I remember going through a mix of emotions. The most dominate one, obviously, was sadness. Actually, heartbreak. I had been dreaming of a being a Big the moment I got initiated (although honestly, I really shouldn’t have been thinking about that yet). I had been looking through Pinterest and pinning ideas all summer. I had talked about it with my friends and my own Big. I felt I was ready. But this just wasn’t something that was going to happen for me. It wasn’t anything I did wrong or anything anyone else did. When it came down to it, I was a graduating senior, and the guidelines had changed, and so the answer for me, in the end, was a no.
All of my thoughts went to my “fam” and how they would react. I remember being so scared to call my Big and tell her, I remember not wanting her to be upset or angry. Yet, what I found was that my Big was the humbling factor in this situation, and while she was upset for me, she told me the following, “You know this isn’t the end of the world, right?” Those were the words I needed in that moment, that while I was upset and hurt currently, this feeling wouldn’t last forever, and that life goes on and goes past being in a sorority.
While I was someone that had wanted to and was unable to take a Little, there are many members who make the choice not to. This can be for multiple reasons, but ultimately, the choice is theirs, and it really is no one’s business why they make that choice. Many people forget that being a Big is a choice, a privilege, and that, while everyone is a Little, not everyone becomes a Big. It isn’t for everyone, it is not meant to happen for everyone, which is perfectly fine. That is something that gets lost in all the commotion -the fact that it is okay. It doesn’t make a person any less of a sister or a brother for deciding to not take a Little. You will still do great things during your time in your org. Beautiful and monumental things.
Your legacy in your organization just not lie in you taking a Little. It does not lie in continuing your “fam” or your “branch”. We often say that you get out what you put in, and the same goes for the legacy and the mark that you leave on your chapter when you graduate. You will be remembered for all the work that you put in, for all the connections that you make and the friendships that bloom during your time as an active member. You will be remembered for the positions you take and for being the person that steps up when the job needs to get done. You will be remembered. Your legacy does not lie whether or not you become a Big, it lies in the person that you become in your organization, and that is all that matters at the end of the day.
It has been a long semester, but I am happy to say that I am okay. I am not the only member of an org that has been unable to take a Little, and I will most certainly not be the last. It was another storm that I had to get through, but I did. I still had a wonderful experience in my sorority, I didn’t let this define my time as an active sister. I am graduating, while without a little, and forever being the “littlest”, I will always hold my org dear to my heart and I am grateful for all it has brought me. The good, most definitely, weighs out the bad.