Let talented people inspire you. It’s a five-word line I took from one of my favorite books, The Twentysomething Guide to Getting It Together, and for good reason. It speaks to the innate struggle of competition and our want to be better, stronger and smarter than the person next to us. This competitive edge provides us with a push to excel but ultimately leaves us fruitless when all we desire is to become better than the individual we perceive to be ahead of us. It’s taken me a long time to rewire my frame of thinking to perceive others as inspiration rather than competition. Here’s why we need to continue to believe in doing this.
The first reason as to why we need to change the frame of thinking from competition to inspiration is because it’s simply not healthy. The constant viewing of others as competition will be detrimental to your health and well-being because it will lead to the idea that your own life isn’t good enough. You will be plagued by envy, self-doubt and questions of why you can’t be as good or as successful as everyone else – two things I know you don’t deserve. Nip these ideas in the bud before they eat away at you by tweaking your perception. The girl in your class who has three internships under her belt? Try your hardest to not see her as competition and a gauge of your own self-worth and professional identity. Look at her as a beacon of inspiration and reach out because, I promise, she’s been in your shoes too.
Before the onset of the self-reflecting monologue where you question what you’re even doing with your life, take the leap and ask her how she got to where she is. Look for tidbits of advice and be inspired by the time and effort she undoubtedly put into getting where she is now. Attaining this intimate advice session not only alleviates some of the pressure you may be feeling in seeing her succeed, it also allows you to grow. It opens the door for you in the sense that now, with the knowledge of how she garnered her success, you have a map of how to get from point A to point B.
All that’s left to do is tweaking it to fit your own life.
Another reason to seek inspiration rather than competition is to ensure you don’t lose a sense of self. It’s so easy to get caught up in things everyone else is doing and comparing it to yourself; just scroll through your Facebook and Instagram feeds and you’ll get lost in everyone’s lives. In constantly comparing your own life to that of the people you find on Instagram, you may be at risk of gauging it as to how you should be living your life. Staying at home and baking cookies with your friend might begin to look bleak in comparison to your friend from high school who’s doing a keg stand every Thursday night. If you like baking cookies at home instead of going out, do it. Don’t question the validity of doing so because you perceive someone else’s life to be greater. Find the inspiration in it. All the pictures of them having a good time at that party? They’re having fun and enjoying every second of the experience. Now, bake those cookies because it’s something you genuinely enjoy doing and find happiness in the knowledge that you’re doing it because it’s your own way of having fun.
I’m not saying competition is a terrible thing and that we should all be sitting around a campfire singing “kumbaya” every night. What I want you to know is that you shouldn’t see every individual as direct competition because it deprives you of the ability to see them as inspiration and to grow from doing so. There are more talented people in the world than you, and this should come as no surprise as there are about 7.5 billion people on this earth. But instead of seeing these talented individuals as competition and plotting a way to “beat” them, look at them for inspiration. It’ll make you a better person all-around and you’ll find much more happiness and confidence as a result.