Dating for Marriage or for the Moment?

Love is a tricky concept and could even be the trickiest in our lifetime. It sneaks up on you in the deadliest of times, but the question is, do we stop that love before it completely consumes our every move? Or do we simply, go with the flow of things and enjoy the moment? If we aren’t ready for marriage, children, and a future of compromising and putting ourselves second, do we stop it in its tracks and cut all ties? My mother is a firm believer in dating for marriage, and the fact that we shouldn’t waste our precious adolescent time with flings or young-love that we know won’t last forever — but that is so old-school and so boring. Times and social norms are changing. Without the lessons from the heart-wrenching loves of our past, how do we grow? Without my ex-boyfriend, I would not be the person I am today, and I’m positive that many can thank their exes at least for that. Young-love taught me many things, including how to be alone and to find comfort within myself, my friends and family, how to move on & let go, and most importantly the all-consuming love taught me to know exactly what I want in a relationship and in a partner and not to settle for less than what I want and what I deserve. Just like Ariana Grande says, I’m so freaking grateful for my ex.

I constantly read articles saying you only have three great loves in your life and each love teaches you a lesson. I’m here to tell you that no article, no psychic, and no one else can tell you how many loves can hold a place in your heart. Instead, we should allow ourselves to let as many loves in and appreciate every experience, heartbreak and relationship given to us in our lifetime. You will grow from each relationship, one will teach you happiness, one will teach you what not to do, one will teach you growth, one might even show you what rock bottom feels like. Each one will hold a special place in your self-growth.

Another common statement made is when everyone says to travel while you’re young, go visit as many places while you’re free from a real job and real obligations. Well, let’s ponder this… I think we should allow ourselves to travel into different relationships, vacation into other’s hearts, and allow people to set up camp in our own hearts as well — without any fear, without any regret, and without any questioning of, “Is there a future? Will we be married?” Experience those relationships whole-heartedly and when it’s time for the sun to set on the relationship, enjoy the lessons learned within the time spent, grow, and be open to experience another sunrise somewhere else. It will only make us smarter and stronger, give us more experience, and prepare us for our lifetime of love, marriage and pure bliss.