This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Montclair chapter.
Dating in college is way different than it was in high school. Let’s be honest, it’s a lot harder to find a guy who’s looking to settle into a relationship, and it was pretty hard in high school too, so that’s saying something! While we love to blame guys for loving the single life too much, it could actually be what you’re doing in the pre-dating stage that’s pushing guys away from plunging into the next step. So check out this list, collegiettes, and find out if these are the reasons you’re still a single girl.
- How to Push a Guy Away: You’re too easy. Dorming on campus means tons of cute guys in your building. But that doesn’t mean you should start hooking up with all of them. Hooking up with multiple guys on your floor pretty early in the semester will guarantee you’ll get a bad rep – fast. Just like girls, guys gossip, and you don’t want to be that girl they’re talking about. Sure, you’ll probably be getting a lot of attention from these guys, but it won’t go any further than the bedroom. A guy doesn’t want what everyone else already got a taste of.
- How to Make Him Stay: Be hard to get. If there’s a specific guy you’re interested in, you can flirt but don’t cross the line much further than that until you’ve been hanging out with him for a while. A guy will really respect you if he notices you’re not into random drunk hook-ups. Besides, it will give him even more of an incentive to chase you.
- How to Push a Guy Away: You’re too shy. I know for some girls it’s hard to make conversation with a cute guy, especially if you just met him. But don’t let your shyness interfere with your dating life! If you’re in a party setting, it’s likely there will be a lot more girls who can easily approach guys and talk to them. But even if a guy thinks you’re cute, he may change his mind if you’re too quiet and seem uninterested. Shyness usually comes off as being rude or bored with the people you’re surrounded by. Don’t let a guy judge you before you even have a chance to talk to him.
- How to Make Him Stay: Keep your head up. Literally. It’s always easy to spot a shy girl at a party- she’s the one looking at her feet, or at her cellphone. Even if you’re too shy to approach a guy, glance around the room and find the guy you’re most interested in. Look at him until you catch his eye, then smile for a few seconds. This is usually a great way to get a guy to come over and start up a conversation!
- How to Push a Guy Away: You party too much. I get it, collegiettes, partying is a huge deal on college campuses. We all need a break from a week jam-packed with classes and assignments, but that doesn’t mean you should become known as Montclair’s black-out bimbo. Some girls take college partying to the extreme – drinking excessive amounts on weekends, even weekdays, it suddenly becomes a lifestyle. While you may be the most fun girl to play flip cup with, being the party girl won’t get you very far in the dating department. Guy’s don’t want a girl who can’t do much more than chug a beer quicker than he can. Unfortunately from a guy’s point of view, drinking every night usually goes hand in hand with being a little too promiscuous. We all know what a little too much alcohol can do.
- How to Make Him Stay: Highlight your interests. You want to show a guy you’re interests, hobbies and life goals, not how fast you can funnel a beer. Take a few nights off from partying and actually get to know the people you are usually surrounded by.. Pick a topic to talk about such as fitness, traveling or your career to spark his interest. By connecting on more of a personal level, you’ll let guys get to know you are actually motivated to do more than party every day.
- How to Push a Guy Away: You’re a complainer. We all know someone who loves to complain about everything. Sure, we all complain once in a while, but sometimes, enough is enough! Girls who complain too much usually come off as being miserable. If nothing can make complainers happy, why would a guy even want to try dating them? You might not even be pushing away guys from dating you, but pushing them away from being friends too.
- How to Make Him Stay: Give off positive energy. If you’re a complainer, be aware of every negative comment you make. Then, look for the positive things to talk about rather than what’s bugging you. If a guy sees you as enjoying life and having a good time, it makes you more attractive to him. Guys LOVE a girl that always has a smile on her face.
- How to Push a Guy Away: You’re a fake girl. I see this quote on twitter all the time, “So you have a fake tan, fake boobs, fake nails and fake hair? Now tell me again how you want a real man.” This is actually so true in the world of dating. Being too fake is presenting the wrong kind of image to guys. A few key words guys associate with “fake” assets are high-maintenance, self-absorbed and insecure. While you may look hot with your fake tan, nails and hair, relationship-wise, a guy is most likely going to pursue the all-natural girl for a date. Besides just being a physical turn-off for guys, the “fake” look also says something about the way you see yourself. If a guy thinks you aren’t secure with your natural looks, he isn’t going to date you.
- How to Make Him Stay: Keep it natural. Rather than flaunt your favorite “fake” qualities, pick a favorite part of your looks and flaunt it. If you have great legs, show them off in a cute skirt or some flirty heels. If you have fair skin, accentuate your eyes with some eye shadow to highlight your eyes. There are plenty of ways to grab a guy’s attention without going over the top on your looks.
- How to Push a Guy Away: You’re too clingy. Yikes. I’ve seen this one plenty of times on campus. You hook up with a guy one night at a party and the next morning you’re expecting a relationship request on Facebook. There’s nothing worse than falling for a guy too fast, and making it known. With all the ways we can connect with a crush now – Facebook, Twitter, texting – you may begin to seem too overbearing. Liking all of his photos or statuses, asking him “Who’s that girl that wrote on your wall yesterday?”, and texting him every day are all sure fire ways for this guy to hit the ground running.
- How to Make Him Stay: Don’t text him. This may sound a little crazy, but this will always be my #1 rule of dating. You’re probably thinking you’ll never hear from him again if you don’t reach out. Sure, you may want to send him a text to hang out after class which is fine, but be aware of how often you text him. If you’re always the one texting him first – STOP! Guys function a little differently than girls. They don’t need to constantly be texting a girl that they like, which usually makes girls feel like they aren’t interested. But this isn’t always the truth. So leave those “Heyy” and “What’s up?” texts behind. If he’s still showing you no attention afterwards – move on.
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