We’re all familiar with the stigma against singles. Valentine’s Day is nearly just as well known as “Single’s Awareness Day.” Being single is seen as a state of discontentment, even if the single person does not feel unhappy or lonely. A romantic partner is believed to be a crucial aspect of a balanced and fulfilling life. The pressure to find a mate is enormous, and the pressure to marry emerges shortly after if one enters a steady relationship. Is this stigma based on truth, or is pity towards singles an unnatural social construction? Are single people truly less happy than those in romantic relationships?
The pressure to find someone is felt strongly by college students. After high school, the pressure to form an identity through education and career exploration is closely matched by the pressure to find love. This expectation only serves to create stress and unnecessary discontentment. Sadly, we indeed live in a society that privileges married people. What about those who don’t find a mate, or perhaps don’t have any interest in marriage? Many work policies benefit those with spouses and families. This is no doubt positive and necessary, but it seems to suggest that singles’ personal relationships do not deserve the same amount of time and dedication. Health care and traveling are often more expensive for singles, while those who are married reap numerous benefits. Why do we stigmatize single people?
It is undoubtedly true that many single people feel lonely and would like to meet somebody or fall in love. However, there are many single people who enjoy fulfilling lives filled with positive relationships. Perhaps the most important issue is that a person does indeed have close, personal, stable relationships. Positive relationships are an essential factor in determining one’s happiness and well-being. Whether or not these relationships are romantic is not nearly as important as the quality of the shared bonds.
If you are single and unhappy, consider whether you are discontent due to outside pressures or because you are lacking relationships. If you are unhappy with being single because you are lonely, try to focus on forming relationships with all sorts of people instead of zeroing in on potential romantic partners. As you get better at forming relationships, you may find romance easier to acquire as well. If you are single and feel discontent only because of outside pressures, stand up for yourself. Relationships are important and absolutely necessary to happiness. Romantic relationships are fulfilling and bring enjoyment, but the same is true for friendships and strong family bonds. Single people do not deserve the stigma they receive. Being single and being unhappy are not always simultaneous occurrences, and assumptions can lead to unnecessary arguments and hurt feelings.
“I don’t like to be labeled as lonely just because I am alone!” – Delta Burke