I remember the first time I felt less than human. She yelled at me for folding a piece of paper incorrectly. She said in a simpering, condescending tone “You know, you’re not very bright.” Instinctively I wanted to punch her in the face, but of course, I would look like the bad person since this woman suffered from a serious physical impairment and I had just began working as a personal care attendant at the beginning of the summer of 2016. I had never worked in the healthcare industry, instead, I had always been in retail or customer service jobs. I was excited to help others as this work appealed to my natural caring instincts. I genuinely care about the wellbeing of others and felt dishonest selling them products I knew they didn’t need.
My first day working as a healthcare professional was phenomenal. I was able to spend time with my colleagues who I was working with and of course there were new and exciting responsibilities, but I didn’t mind. I was excited to develop my character, sense of responsibility and organizational skills.
About two months into the job, I started to feel weird. I would get to work and complete each task on my to-do list. After keeping busy and asking my client if she needed anything she would give sassy remarks or just be unappreciative about things. If I did things wrong or asked her to clarify instructions she would consistently reply, “ You know you’re not very bright.” or “You have terrible communications skills.” While maybe I should have taken these remarks lightly, I instead felt that each remark was a personal attack on my character. I bit my tongue as the tension grew between us. I called my parents crying, “I don’t know why she is acting this way toward me.” I felt I had to walk on eggshells around her and I would get physically sick before going to work.
My client started putting me on call more than anyone that worked for her and discouraged me from taking any days off. All of my friends told me to quit, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it because I felt I had an obligation to myself and to this woman. I had committed to at least one year when I signed on for my personal care attendant job and I felt like she needed me. Despite her nastiness I still empathized with her situation. After venting to a mentor of mine about my stressful work life she said, “I can see why you think you’re doing good and I think it has taught you valuable life lessons, but your employer doesn’t respect your time and this isn’t a real employer and employee relationship. There are many blurred lines.”While yes, the emotional abuse made life very difficult for me, I could still see the woman underneath who needed my help. However, no matter the fear of what was going to happen, I knew I had to get out of the situation for my own well being, my happiness, and my future.
It’s not easy to tell someone what is going on in these situations because you think it may be your fault, or you’re ashamed and embarrassed of the comments they make towards you because…what if they’re true? You fear that how someone else views you or how they voice how they see you is reality. It has to be true. Right? NO, it’s not. Just tell yourself: you are smart, hardworking, and most of all, you ARE courageous enough to leave the current the situation you’re in. By standing up for yourself you are standing up for others who are potentially going to be in the same situation. You can stand up for yourself and change not only your environment but the environment of others around you.