Going to a small, primarily female-populated liberal arts school on the Upper East Side doesn’t exactly prepare you to give relationship advice, in fact, it gives you zero qualifications. But the one year interruption in my college experience has made me realize how grateful I am that I was able to learn so much about myself at the time in my life when it mattered the most.
From the start, my roommates were the kind of people that you felt excited to go home to and never made you doubt yourself. They provided endless support and we were each other’s familiarity in a city of millions. Finding it hard to believe our own luck in being randomly placed together, we would often say “do you think we would’ve been friends in high school?’, to which the unanimous answer was always no, or that at least we would have talked in class but never been close. Almost overnight a friend group was established unlike any of us had ever had before that never left us wanting anything more. Yes, the topic of boys would come up quite a bit, but never because it felt like anything was missing.
For the longest time all I wanted was the chance to live in the city and it would have felt so different if I didn’t have that kind of friendship behind every day I spent alone running to and from classes and jobs and trying to take advantage of every opportunity. New York is as ‘real world’ as it gets, it’s fast-paced, unforgiving, and overachieving, but at the same time, it’s its own reality. In a big city, you’re never really alone and it’s easier to remember who you are.
Throughout my three whirlwind years I realized that there are different kinds of love and felt how seeing others believe in you makes you believe in yourself more than you could on your own. Having spent my time in college focusing on what I wanted for myself and what I wanted out of Manhattan allowed me to become more independent and sure of myself than ever, and have the best time doing it. Dating was simply never a part of it, and I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Wherever you are, keep your perspective broad and be full of yourself.