Question: I have been dating a guy that was a friend for a little while now. What’s a good amount of time to wait before hooking up if you don’t want to make things complicated? Or, when would be a good time to bring it up in conversation?
Ah, the classic switcheroo. One moment you two are discussing the guy you made out with last night, and the next, you two are making out with each other. It’s classic and without it the Disney Channel wouldn’t exist.
In today’s fast-paced dating landscape, it must be refreshing to truly know the person you’re with rather than getting a taste of their life story mid-thrust.
Personally, I‘ve taken to the notion that if you don’t know somebody inside-and-out, you shouldn’t be inside of them.
And I know what you’re thinking. Is Kyle neutered? Is he breathing? Is he Brother Jed?
No, I’m merely one of those things (exactly which will remain a mystery), but I’ve also had my fair share of unfulfilling college flings, none of which were fair to the young lady or myself.
Intimacy is special, regardless of how it’s portrayed to us. We don’t have the ability to simply wish the “right time” upon ourselves. We have to earn it with our words, our actions, and our commitments.
You see, television has chosen to lie to us.
That emotional epiphany that we long for as we watch our favorite sitcoms doesn’t always come so easy for us. Not only are boobs not shaped like Kim Possible’s, but not everyone ends up happily dating their Ron at the end of Season 3.
Your romance is your romance. It would be a shame to try and live somebody else’s out.
But, you’re lucky. Because you two have already bonded on a special level, you should be able to clearly communicate the limits of your intimacy.
Inherently, you have scaled the most ominous barrier to intimacy: communication.
In any relationship, it is proven that the quickest way to derail things is to not talk about them. Simply put, if you’re not comfortable discussing it, you won’t be comfortable doing it. This philosophy is also my excuse for allowing my room to slowly resemble a shantytown.
To be honest, you’re answering your own question, friend. The fact that you’re not quite comfortable making this decision on your own is indicative that you and your significant other aren’t quite ready to “do the booty do.”
My advice to you would be wait. Wait until your partner has proven that they respect you enough to wait too. Then, in some unbridled display of primal aggression, feel free to tear into each other like coked-out panthers.
Talk, talk, and talk some more. Talk until it hurts and then talk about how much it hurts to talk. Talk about how much it hurts to talk until it hurts so much to talk that you are both talking about how much you hate me for giving convoluted instructions. You follow?
I think it’s wonderful that you guys are taking a chance on each other, despite the obvious risks present. Next time you feel pressured to make a move, just think to yourself “do I know this person’s favorite book?”
Talk it out and you’ll end up on the same page.
My God, I love puns.
B****boii: The Sequel Update: I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people! For unto me, 5 fish are born this day! After great searching and deliberation, I have found the worthy successors to B****boii. Ladies and Gentleman, henceforth I shall be reporting on the welfare of the B****boiis. I hope that you find them not to be able replacements, but improvements over the deceased. Genetically engineered in a lab, these young thugs glow!
Next Week I Answer: Any questions you have! Don’t forget you can always send your questions anonymously via our suggestion box on the main page!
Keep asking questions, guys! If it’s something that would horrify your church congregation, it’s perfect for me!
Photo Credits:
Alphamalecharacteristicshq.com – gurl.com – hercampus.com – blog.crushaider.com