Last Valentine’s Day, I had a girlfriend.
Trust me, the concept is just as shocking to me as it may be to you.
Regardless, I did what any good boyfriend would do. I bought her favorite candy, flowers and wrote a heartfelt note that could have made a rock nauseous. All that was left was the surprise delivery after her musical rehearsal.
I waited in a Walgreens parking lot adjacent to her home until her best friend texted me the go ahead. Then, walked up to her door and called her to come outside.
Her response?
“Not tonight. I’m tired.”
It was love, ladies and gentleman.
Now, perhaps my plan failed because it was conducted like a kidnapping (see: Walgreens parking lot) or because this girl was actually tired.
Or, as I learned later, perhaps she had cheated on me four days prior.
Chocolates, flowers and love-notes didn’t seem like such important gifts after that.
Wow. Could I have rained on Saint Valentine’s parade any harder than that? Probably not. But, I assure you that I’m going somewhere with this.
First of all, do not pity me in the least. When a Valentine’s Day’s reaction during your 12th grade year is weaker than the one you received in 6th, it’s probably a sign that things aren’t meant to be.
Pardon my sadism, but I think we all need a Valentine’s Day like mine. If we never experience the void of what’s really necessary in a relationship, we’ll never learn how to gift it or receive it.
In relationship, we have to learn that giving gifts isn’t merely a responsibility on February 14.
A diamond bracelet may say I’m a trust-fund baby. But, intangible gifts say I’m a good boyfriend.
Our culture is too organized when it comes to love. For whatever reason, we have scheduled certain dates (e.g. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine’s Day, etc.) as the primary days to fully express how we feel about one another.
I appreciate the intention, but it’s too easy to commercialize three days out of the year, rather than 365.
That’s why I come to you all much like I did last year, carrying flowers; chocolates and a love note/article to implore you to be giving to that special person all of yourself, everyday.
When you commit to “relationship” with someone, you are committing to them: compassion, loyalty and self-sacrifice for the greater good of two people over one. These are the true idols of Valentine’s Day.
Mind you, I didn’t say you are committing to consuming each other’s faces in the Student Center. I didn’t say you are committing to paranoia when apart. And I certainly didn’t say you are committing to sharing homemade soft-core pornography over social media.
Don’t be that couple for the sake of every other person, ever.
What I am saying is, act as though everyday you’re with someone special is a gift in itself. Don’t show the rest of us. Show the person who you reluctantly watch football with, the same one who reluctantly watches you during “that time of the month.”
This Valentine’s Day, I will be happily relaxing with my still-living fish B****boii.
What a blessing it is to have a Valentine who’s relationship with me literally hinges on life and death.
Now, that’s loyalty.
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you sharing a special day with a special person. Also, happy Valentine’s Day to all of you sharing it with chocolate and tears.
I love all of you, regardless.
Next Week I Answer: “I’m in a long-distance relationship and I was wondering how YOU think I can keep my guy happy. Thanks for your help! -Anonymous